𝙱𝚊𝚍 𝚁𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎| 𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫

XLVI

January, 1975

It's been a couple of months of living with Roger. After that night of the show, I was awaken to Roger kissing every square inch of my body, and murmuring apologies into my skin. I eventually forgave him after he explained how sorry he was. I know I probably seemed ridiculous for forgiving him so quickly, but I didn't care. I needed him more than I needed breath in my lungs.

Living with Roger at first was amazing, filled with parties, sex, romantic dates every weekends, and everything I could want and more. But over time the parties got too much, too heated. Roger was constantly drinking to the point where it wasn't fun anymore, he was just completely out of it and we'd have to get a taxi home, and he'd end up being sick and hungover in the morning. And even though he knew I found it a little uncomfortable, he continued to kiss any of his fans who clearly had an interest in him. It wasn't directly on the lips like the first time, but it was a little too close for comfort. I knew Roger was flirtatious and whenever he'd flirt with the fans, it was completely innocent and he had no interest in them, but it was still slightly hurtful to witness. And everytime I'd bring it up to him he'd always recite the same excuse: "they're just fans. I only want you."

Maybe that would've made me feel better if I hadn't notice one particular red-head girl, in maybe her early to mid-twenties, at every Queen concert. I'd even see her on tours, like she was a groupie. I even saw her and Rog speak on numerous occasions, but when I tried to bring it up, I'd get hit with "you're just insecure. She's only a friend. There's nothing going on. I only want you." And everytime we'd repeat the same conversation, he'd been drinking.

It was a little exhausting constantly worrying if Roger was going behind my back. I know I should trust him otherwise there's no point in having this relationship, but I just can't help it.

Aside from everything going on with Roger, I recently applied to a University somewhere in New York. I know it's far, and I did try finding Universities in the UK but none really caught my eye. And I've saved enough money to move if necessary. I wondered if Roger would join me, but he has his own career, he has the band, and it would be unfair to drag him away from that. But I'd also be unfair to myself by staying here and not moving forward with my life. I haven't talked to Roger about any of this and I know I probably should have, but we're already going through a rocky period and I don't wanna make it worse by telling him that I'll be flying to America for University.

I decided to major in English in hope of becoming a writer, I've just been waiting for a response from them, which will probably take a week or so.

The only people I'd told about applying to the University was Morgan, Raven and Willow. I do intend on telling Roger, maybe when I get my acceptance, but for now I just wanna enjoy the time with him, before I need to tell him.

Right now I was in bed with Roger's head laying on my stomach, and his arm around my waist. The both of us were naked, and my hands were ruffling through his hair, while I looked up to the ceiling. He was drunk at the moment, and slowly just falling asleep in my arms.

"We have another show tonight.. Are you coming?" He slurred into my skin, as his index finger drew invisible, lazy circles on my hip.

"Yeah, of course." I told him, leaning my head down to press my lips against his temple. If I'm being honest I hated going to the shows. Every time Roger would ask if I wanted to go my mood would drop. It's not that I didn't wanna see the band perform, I loved watching their concerts. It was what happens after that I hated. Roger with his fans. It would happen all the time. Right in front of me. Shamelessly. But I still went. Because I wanted to be supportive.