OH, Black Cats

95. Xavier Thorpe | In Need Of Comfort

Tumblr : seiksyyki

🖇️ word count; 1,181

🖇️ summary; Xavier comforts you when you have a hard time with eating.

🖇️ warnings; emetophobia warning (mentions of throwing up), mental health issues, eating disorder, minor mentions of self harm, self deprecating thoughts, crying, mentions of the word calories??. I AM IN NO WAY ROMANTICISING MENTAL HEALTH OR THESE DISORDERS!!! as I've said before, most posts like this are extremely and unfortunately self indulgent (despite this being a request the statement still stands), so it is comfort writing for me. Please take care of yourselves if you ever feel this way <33. any warnings missed or spelling errors please let me know 🫶

***

your ears rung. everything in the world echoed in your brain, scratching at the inside of your head. the nasty feeling occurred every time you tried to stand, it was accompanied with black spots plaguing your line of vision and a flush of hot blaze that spread from your ears to your cheeks. you took a shallow breath and tried to ease yourself gently onto the creaky floorboards of Xavier's shed, pieces of sharp wood poked into the warm flesh of your palm. Xavier halted his movements and placed down his paintbrushes as soon as he heard your quivery breaths. "Hey, you okay?" his soft tone hit your ears like a soothing melody as it overpowered the distastefully irritating ringing that bounced around your skull. with another deep breath you brought your shaky hand to push away all the unorganized hair from your face. "i'm alright, Xavier" although he didn't say it, he knew you were lying. the past couple days had been a struggle for you, the mere mention of food brought the taste of bile to your mouth. he had tried to help you the best he could, staying right next to you and whispering encouraging words whilst you sipped on your vegetable soup or whatever you had chosen that day. today, however, hadn't been as successful as the days beforehand. "sweetheart, lets get you somewhere comfier, yeah?" as the faint pounding in your head continued Xavier took the initiative to scoop you up bridal style and take you over to the couch in the far corner. the soft feel of his skin against yours brought an unconscious comfort that you decided to wallow in for once. you curled up into his touch and pressed a chaste peck of thanks to his jugular before he needed to place you onto the cushions. it was unfair how kind he was to you when all you provided in return were your anxious and melancholy moods. a silky brunette strand of hair tickled the tip of your nose as he leant forward to sit you down and upon your body touching the soft material a tear slips down your face, it didn't take long before more came trickling down afterward. "what's wrong? why're you crying, sweets?" a wave of heartbreak washed over him not so gently as he watched you fall apart, and despite his thumb continuously swiping under your lash line to rid your cheeks of the substance he hated so much, the tears seemed to keep spilling out. "'m sorry xavier. sorry I couldn't do it" you searched his face for any disappointment caused by your pathetic state, but yet there was none. unfortunately that didn't stop you from feeling like a complete wimp for crying over something as insignificant as food. you cast your head downward, avoiding his gaze so you didn't feel as embarrassed whilst he kept trying to comfort you. "do what? hey, couldn't do what, love?" grasping your forearms carefully, he thumbed gentle circles onto your chilled skin, your goosebumps slowly disappearing. you dug your blunt fingernails into your skin, creating crescents in the centre of your palm that Xavier would no doubt pepper with kisses later. "couldn't keep it down, Zavi. it all came back up after fifth period" immediate worry flashed across his face, no wonder you had looked so dejected after you'd come to find him. the tears had slowed down, leaving only salty tracks in their wake that trailed all the way past your chin. "that's okay, y/n. look at me, that's alright. you don't have to feel ashamed for crying over it. this is a big thing for you, yeah?" he stated, trying to get you to believe it yourself before placing his hands that were marked with crusted paint onto your cheeks and tilting your head up to face him. "do you think you could try to eat something else? just a small snack" even though the thought of more food brought the taste of sickly sweet salavia to your mouth, you nodded anyway, because you knew if you wanted to get better you'd have to fight for your recovery, even if it was the worst feeling in the world. gulping back the remaining hesitance you finally spoke. "yeah. i'll try"

"yeah? i've got a couple of things in here. got some fruit cups, some bread sticks, plain yogurt, take your pick" you followed him with your gaze as he pulled multiple crinkling packages from his paint splattered desk drawer, the one standing out to you most being the colourful and soggy fruits sitting in a plastic cup. they looked nice, the sting of the sour snack against the fresh blemishes inside your mouth feeling like what you needed right now. but there was only one problem, your sweet, kind, doting and patient boyfriend had scribbled over the calorie tag, and as you searched for any other indication of how high the calories were he gave you knowing look. you sighed, "fruit cup, please", whatever the number was, it couldn't be too high, right? after all, it's only some fruit. Xavier smiled, his lovely dimples coming out for you to admire as he did. "what's your preference, kiwi, apple and grapes or mango, apple and grapes?" you'd never been a fan of mango, it always left a slightly scratchy sensation on your tongue. kiwi's were always your go to fruit anyway. "kiwi, please" you requested, waiting for him to return with your snack. "want me to eat with you?" your boyfriend asked adoringly and with a brisk nod from you he placed himself to your right with his own fruit cup in grasp, his hand was not so shaky though when he brought it up to shove a slippery piece of fruit into his mouth. when the tasty food touched your tongue you couldn't help but let out a satisfied sigh. you were right, the mild tingle of the fruit meeting your flesh was what you needed. Xavier rubbed your back soothingly as you took your time to chew it and pressed a love filled kiss to your temple when you managed to swallow your first piece. "that's it, just take it slow, k?" your heart fluttered with how he cared for you, most would have given up the moment you started crying. but not Xavier, he was always there for you when you needed him, even when you didn't realise it. he chuckled when a blob of syrupy goodness dripped from your lips, but was not amused when the same happened to him a few moments later. you were though. and soon enough you had finished your last piece of fruit along with Xavier who made it known how proud he was of you. "good job, sweetheart. you did amazing, anything else you need?" a quick flush of warmth spread throughout you when you swung your legs across him and latched onto him like a koala. "hugs, please"

"hugs?," a smile broke out onto his face, eyes creasing with love and adoration "yeah, I can absolutely do that"