Save You Tonight

Chapter Thirty-Nine.

Harry's Point of View.

I haven't been home at the flat much, Lou has called me several times but I refuse to answer. I haven't spoken to anyone in about a week, the last message I received was from Lou, he was taking Alaine to the doctor to get a checked up after discovering that she is pregnant.

I'm pregnant.

I didn't know what to do, think, or say, the whole room went quiet and looked at me. But for the first time, I didn't do anything wrong. I looked to Alaine for an answer, she was in her flowery light blue blouse and grey scarf, her skirt was white and her flats seemed to click, almost awaiting an answer from me. I looked into her light brown eyes for an answer, of any kind, but I couldn't find anything but the words I'm sorry floating everywhere. Her eyes looked sad, but her face didn't show it. You'd have to stare long enough to find what I found, and more than sadness was remorse.

I left her flat in a rush and somehow ended up at a bar. I've been from bar to bar for the past seven days, paparazzi have been following me non-stop. I feel like I'm avoiding them, well Alaine, but I don't know what to do.

For one fact, I haven't touched Alaine since the last time we were together back in the States. So one thing is very true, that baby she is expecting is not mine. My question is, who's baby is she expecting?

"You want a refill on that?" the bar tender said to me.

I nodded and handed him my glass. I have to say something about it eventually, there is no way of avoiding the situation. Her stomach will swell like a ripe pear and wont be unnoticeable. I just cant fathom Alaine being with someone else, she was always so genuine and devoted to me, even though she did date Mark I know her better than to have relations with him. I mean just look at him, well, now you cant but he is not Alaine's type of guy. Not to mention he is aggressive, from the time he beat me senseless. Alaine would never let him into her bed. She loved me and only me.

But then again I loved her and only her, yet I screwed up by getting with Caroline as well, is this how it felt? The loneliness surging through your veins like blood that you wish you can get rid of but cant? I don't want to begin to picture Alaine with another man, sharing the same heat as him, bed, passion...

I gulp down the drink and get up, leaving a tip. I don't want to feel this feeling anymore, this hurt feeling in the core of my being, but I cant escape it. The reality is she is expecting a baby, not my baby.

How many times did I think about a family with Alaine? Our children running around and playing, a cookout with family and my mom, Gemma would be the happiest aunt on the face of the planet. She would love to be an aunt first rather than the other way around. I walked out of the bar and headed towards the hotel room that I had rented in the meantime. I walked in my room and laid down on my bed. The sheets smelled freshly washed and there was a mint on the pillow.

I couldn't judge Alaine, she was obviously not going to wait for me. Heck, I wouldn't wait for me either, not after what I did to her. I let her down, when she believed I was holding true to many promises that I had made to her. That was part of the reason I accepted Caroline's offer to fill in the void Alaine had left, but it never fully worked. Every time she would sleep on my bed it felt like a stranger was there. But when Alaine was the one by my side, I felt like I had completed the puzzle that I had left half way finished.

I wonder if that's how Mark felt when he had Alaine, when he knew he could make her happy. I never doubted he could make her beyond happy, I didn't want to believe it was all. Maybe this baby is Mark's, maybe that's the reason why Mark used up his last words for me instead of telling Alaine something that could be of more valuable use.