Snowed In For Christmas || Post Malone

Fifteen

I felt my breath catch in my throat at the mention of her name, I don't know if it was the fact that I was finally able to put a name to the person that I saw in the video, if it was the fact that he remembered her or if it was the fact that this was happening, but either way I knew right from the first sentence that this wasn't going to be as easy as I had thought. I let out a sigh, giving his hand a tight squeeze–whether it was because I was afraid I was going to shy away from him or because I wanted to comfort him I'm not sure–as he gently rested his fingers under my chin tilting my head up so our eyes instantly locked together.

"Maddison I don't have to keep going sweetheart. I don't want this to be harder than what it needs to be" he said, sincerity floating on the rippling waves of his oceanic blue eyes as I took in and let out a shaky breath, his eyes taking on a new sadness at the sound as he gently swiped his thumb over my suddenly dry lips.

"No Austy, this has to happen. I don't care how hard it is, I don't care if I cry, I don't care. I need to know" I said, his eyes averting my gaze as he let out a sigh dropping his hand back to my thigh. "I don't want to pick up our relationship with this hanging in the shadows. I don't want it following us around. I don't want you to feel like something is always hanging over you and I don't want to feel like I'm always left in the dark. We deserve that" I said, giving his hand a squeeze as he nodded his head placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Okay sweetheart" he said, his hand nervously running over his short hair before he started to rub at the back of his neck.  "You know that I didn't want to leave you, you know that I didn't want to go to LA" he said looking over at me with this pleading look in his eyes, almost as if he thought that I didn't believe him.

"I know baby" I said with a small smile bringing our connected hands to my lips as I pressed a gentle kiss against the bear tattooed on the top of his hand.

"It started at the studio. I was recording one of the last songs on my album and everyone that was part of the album was there and of course everyone brought someone and she was one of the people. Who she was there with or why she was there I don't even know because I've never seen her before in my life" he said letting out a sigh as he shook his head.

"She was your typical LA girl. Plastic, blonde, fake tan, and most of all she was just out looking for someone who could fund her lifestyle. She wasn't part of our friend group yet she was there and she was trying really hard to get my attention" he said looking over at me almost as if he was trying to judge if what he was telling me was too much, and honestly it almost was but I needed to hear it.

"She started following me around everywhere. First it was hanging out in the corner making small talk with some of the guys, but honestly they really didn't want to talk to her either so she would just move from person to person until she ended up right next to me while I was playing random songs on the guitar. She was getting me beers, she was taking selfies of us, she was acting like we've been together for years" he said, letting out a laugh.

"After a while I just stopped trying to move away, thought I'd just let her have her moment while I still enjoyed being with my friends but I quickly found out that was the wrong thing to do. It was almost like a sign to her that I wanted her to be around and that I wanted something more from her" he said, his hand coming up to run through his hair as he let out a sigh.

"I was so fucking stupid Maddison. I should've just got up and left but I thought if I fucking ignored her, I thought if I just pretended like I didn't know she was following me around that she would take the hint and leave me alone. Even fucking Swae came over and tried to pull me away from her, he was asking questions about you. I even" he said letting out a small laugh as he shook his head. "I was even talking about how I was going to ask you to marry me but she didn't get the fucking hint" he said looking over at me with sad eyes, regret hanging heavily in every perfect part of his irises as I moved myself closer to him placing a gentle kiss on his lips.