Two

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I closed my book at the familiar ding of an announcement coming from either the flight attendant or the pilot, my hand reaching over sliding up the plastic shade on the window. I couldn't help but smile as I saw the city that I had become so familiar with and fallen in love with come into view. The city looked like a tiny Christmas village surrounded with towering mountains covered in a freshly fallen blanket of snow. Whether I wanted to admit it or not–or maybe it was just because I was trying to forget it–I missed Utah so much. I let out a sigh, my head resting back against the headrest as I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath.

I was really hoping that I wasn't making a mistake coming back here. I knew that I was here on business talking about the publication of one of our authors who happened to live in Salt Lake City. But I was also hoping that in the back of my mind I wasn't agreeing to this with the hopes of seeing a six foot tall heavily tattooed gentle giant with the most beautiful, piercing blue eyes and breathtaking smile that I had ever seen. I took in and let out another breath, shaking my head back and forth as I started to laugh at myself. Maybe I was hoping for a glimpse of him, but I don't know who I was kidding. Austin rarely left his house in the winter and if he did it wasn't often that he was by himself, whether it was security, fans or–even though I hated the thought of it but needed to accept the fact that it might be true–another girl he always had someone with him.

I felt the happiness that was inside of me quickly deplete from my body leaving me feeling like a deflated balloon. It was a fact that even after a year I was still in love with him. I tried really hard to forget him but there was literally no way that I possibly could. Everything that we had, everything that we felt was so real and it often left me wondering if maybe I had made the wrong decision. Maybe I should've given him another chance like Rich and Jodie had often pleaded with me to do. But I couldn't.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Salt Lake City. The time is 10:30AM mountain standard time and the weather is a chilly 30 degrees Fahrenheit with light snow. Enjoy your stay."

I smiled at the pilot's light hearted remarks while unbuckling my seatbelt reaching down for my Louis carryon–that Austin had bought for me on our trip to France, buying things was always his love language despite the many times I told him he didn't have to do that with me–plopping it down on my lap while I waited for the plane to start to empty. I felt myself getting nervous the closer and closer I got to getting off the plane and I wasn't entirely sure why. I was literally getting off of the plane, getting in an uber and going to the Grand America where I knew I would most likely stay the entire night. But still, there was that huge part of me that was hoping and praying that somewhere, somehow I would see him. Just one glimpse would be enough.

"Ma'am?"

"Oh sorry" I said to the kind woman who was waiting for me to get out of my seat, my cheeks flushing red as I quickly swung my bag over my shoulder and walked down the aisle towards the jetway. If I was already getting sidetracked about Austin and I wasn't even in Utah for a half hour, I could only imagine what my brain would be like tomorrow in the meeting.

I stepped into the airport, my eyes looking all around at how surprisingly well decorated the terminals were for the holidays. A warm smile spread across my lips, that familiar feeling of warmth washing over me. This is what home should feel like, not the cold unwelcoming feeling I got the instant that I moved back to the city. I took in and let out a deep breath, my feet immediately carrying me to the elevator to begin my long trek to the baggage claim–I was always the person who checked their carryon if there was enough space–grabbing my phone out of my back pocket, my thumbs quickly typing in the information for an uber while I navigated my way through the crowd.

"He's back! He hasn't been home in months and he's finally back!"

"That's exciting, I thought we were going to lose our hometown rockstar there for a while."

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