Shorter Than Me

7 Levi

I have a whole day to do whatever I want. Directly after the members in my squad's deaths, I would wallow in my room, clean like crazy, or go to the forest to try to forget everything for a few hours. I also tried getting drunk but it didn't do anything to help. It practically drove me crazy. Petra was the first thing in a long, long, long time that made me smile. I shouldn't have let that happen. Twice now when I've gotten close to someone, they've ended up dying. I don't know why I let it happen to me. It just caught me by surprise. I thought they would be safe.

Clearly my presence was the only thing needed to save them, but I was too late.

I go to see Hanji. She's annoying and eccentric, but I haven't seen her in a while.

"Hello, Levi! What are you doing here?"

I wrinkle my nose at the state of her office. The trash can hasn't been emptied in a while, papers cover the desk and floor, clothes are flung mindlessly on the floor, and I can see through a doorway that her bed is unmade, the sheets practically all the way off the bed. There's also an odd smell I can't place.

"You really need to clean this place up. It's like a pig lives here."

"It's nice to see you too, Levi!" With one sweep of her arm, she has knocked all the papers from her desk onto the floor and she places a slightly crumpled form on the now clean space. I see dust on it, so it isn't really clean. "But really, why did you come here?"

I stay silent, still disgusted by my only nightmare before me.

Not my only nightmare.

"You're very talkative. How is that training going? You still haven't let me meet your little girl." She starts practically scribbling on the paper.

"Don't make it sound like she's my child."

"She's shorter than you, correct?" She keeps her eyes on the paper.

"Yes, she is." She keeps frantically writing. "What is that?" I ask.

"My eighteenth request to Erwin for another expedition beyond the wall to study titans. I specifically want to see how active they are at night and whether they still want to eat us before the sun rises."

I see a chair turned over in the corner and walk to it. I grab the back and lift it upright. There's so much dust on the wooden back and I cringe. I wipe my hand on my hankerchief.

Hanji laughs loudly. "Are you feeling the urge to clean my room up? Please don't. I like it this way. The last time you cleaned it, I couldn't find anything. I was late for breakfast because I couldn't find my jacket-"

"It was in the closet."

"My papers were nowhere to be found-"

"Still in the filing cabinet." I open the drawer with a hankerchief-covered hand.

"It was just way too clean."

"Nothing is ever too clean."

"Maybe for you. I like it just the way it is."

"You should change your outlook on cleanliness."

"You know you like me just the way I am." She smiles at me.

"No I don't."

"I know those feelings you're hiding behind that rock-hard angry-little-man exterior." She finishes writing and holds the paper up proudly.

"What feelings do you see?" I decide to humor her- without any humor.

She walks to me and places her hands on my shoulders. I step away, glaring at her."I see a vulnerable little boy just needing someone to love. He pretends to have all the answers. He pretends he's better than anyone else-"

"Which I am."

"-and he misses his squad. They were good at things and now he has to train a stupid, little, incompetent, boring, annoying short girl."

"She's not incompetent."

"You complimented her!" She smiles in triumph.

"No, I just didn't insult her."

"Same thing with you, Levi." She waves her hand in dismissal of my comment. "Now I need to take this to Erwin! Do you know if he's in his office?"

I almost tell her he's with the shortie, but I don't. "He might be. He's probably somewhere around here."

"Alright. I'll just have to go on a manhunt and find him! Goodbye, Levi!" She practically dances out the door, leaving me in her room. She'll be gone for a while looking for the commander. That will give me enough time to annoy her with a sparkling-clean room.

I go to her closet and take out the cleaning supplies I stashed there the last time I cleaned her room. I open the window to air out whatever smell seems to be coming from her desk. When I open a drawer, I find a half-dissected mouse.

Oh my gosh, Hanji!!!!!

I carefully pick it up with a rag and throw both rag and mouse in the trash can.

I stack all the papers and just place them in the filing cabinet, not wanting to do her paperwork for her. I throw all her clothes in a laundry basket in the closet and put it next to the door, hoping she'll rememeber she needs to wash them. The bed is easy to make. I wash the windows and all the surfaces, getting rid of every single speck of dust. I sweep the floor.

Finally, I'm done. I walk out and see her down the hall. I walk in the opposite direction.

"Levi, what were you still doing in there?" she calls. A few seconds later, I hear her scream.