Weird World [H.S]

94.

Billie Joe Armstrong.

Three tiny, but humungous words that meant more to me than life itself- apart from the obvious that is, the obvious being my Gran, Phoebe and now of course Harry.

There was a time in my life where I considered the frontman of my favourite band to be my father, my mother, my teacher, my guide but most importantly, the person who set me on the right track when I needed it the most- and today was one of those days.

I mean, some things were obviously a little bit different now as I had Phoebs and Harry, and of course I had made friends with Sam and Danielle, plus Louis, Liam and Niall; but sometimes all a girl needed was one of her heroes.

I was sat in the car, in the front seat of Harry's range rover, some my stuff packed and sitting nicely in the back, while some were ready be shipped off to London in a couple of hours.

My mind was a million miles away from the prospect of what was happening today, and even though I could barely think straight or come to terms with what I was doing, all that could seem to sink in was one of Billie Joe's quotes that had circled around in my head since I was fifteen years old.

"You can't change the wind, but you can set your sails."

There was nothing more perfect than that right now, because even though I couldn't control my destiny where London and moving in with Harry was concerned, I had every control of what choices lead me to them- and so I was in control of setting my sails but I couldn't control the wind.

And I was weirdly okay with that.

I had never told Harry how much I actually loved Green Day, apart from the odd conversation here and there that we had; and I think he had an inkling because he never questioned it when I locked myself away in my own little world and listened to them like they were my bible.

In many ways, they were my bible.

The band taught me right from wrong, gave me a reason to believe in anything and most importantly, they gave me hope- that everything was going to be okay.

I've got a really bad disease, it's got me begging on my hands and knees.

So, take me to emergency, cause something seems to be missing.

Somebody take the pain away, it's like an ulcer bleeding in my brain

So send me to the pharmacy, so I can lose my memory...

"What's this one called?"

I looked over to Harry, watching him as he drove us to my gran's while his fingers tapped along to the beat on the steering wheel.

"Restless Heart Syndrome." I said almost too quickly; "One of my favourite songs."

"Oh... It's quite, dark isn't it?"

I'm elated, medicated.

Lord knows I tried to find a way to run away...

I smiled, "A little."

"And you... like this?"

I smiled again, picking at my jeans.

I didn't expect him to understand, I didn't expect anyone to understand my love for Green Day.

"This song is basically the last 21 years of my life." I said helpfully, "I was so angry for a huge amount of time, and I guess... Green Day just made me feel normal. I could sync myself up to them in many ways... it was kind of like I was like them and they were like me."