Chapter 4

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It was around 11pm when the friends walked into Shots of Seoul. It was Yoongi's regular spot to unwind after work. It was small but the vibe was his taste. Dark wood floors, leather seating, mood lighting. The music was always relaxing - jazz with some blues thrown in for flavor. It wasn't a "rowdy" place during the week since mostly professionals hung out after work. The weekend was another story.

Walking up to the bar, he noticed the bartender from the other night - leaned in, whispering and laughing with the manager, Taehyung. 'Are they flirting?' Yoongi wondered to himself. He wouldn't be surprised, both were attractive.

They sat at the bar, Yoongi never taking his eyes off of Jimin. 'God he's beautiful' Yoongi thought to himself. He was wearing black skinny jeans with ripped knees. A black button down. His wavy blonde hair fell just above his eyes. But his smile took Yoongi's breath away. Plump pink lips with snow white teeth. His eyes were like little moons when he smiled. You could drown in that smile.

Yoongi shook the thoughts away, knowing he was literally watching Jimin flirt with someone else. It didn't help his already blue mood.

"Ehhmm" said Joon from Yoongi's right side. "Can I get a beer?"

Jimin looked back and noticed them for the first time - his gaze stopping on Yoongi. Yoongi couldn't really read his expression - was it surprise? Happiness? Shock? He did notice a slight pink blush spreading over Jimin's cheeks.

"Whiskey neat please," requested Yoongi.

"You got it," Jimin replied.

***

Jimin started with the beer of the man sitting next to Yoongi. Was it his boyfriend? Friend? Was Yoongi even gay? He wondered all of those things while popping the top of their best local beer.

He swirled a napkin on to the bar and placed the bottle on top.

"Getting smoother with the tricks I see" Yoongi laughed up at Jimin. Jimin blushed again. 'Stop doing that' he told himself, knowing he was being so obvious.

"Just takes some practice," he replied nonchalantly, before turning to make Yoongi's whiskey.

As he started to work, he overheard the two across the bar talking. "Lighten up, relax, have fun" he heard the stranger say, as he patted Yoongi on the shoulder. "I'm trying, I just need to pull myself back out of my music. It's not easy. It takes a few minutes," Yoongi replied.

Jimin sat Yoongi's glass down and poured his whiskey neat. He gave him a little extra after overhearing their exchange.

"Thanks... O by the way Jimin, this is Namjoon, my best friend and producer for my mixtape" Yoongi said. "Namjoon, this is Jimin. He just started here the other night so... be nice," Yoongi laughed.

"Agh...I'm always nice," said Joon in mock horror. "Nice to meet you Jimin."

"Same," Said Jimin, smiling at Joon before holding Yoongi's gaze.

"Umm... I'm gonna go make a... new friend," said Namjoon, noticing the looks between the two and getting up.

Jimin turned around to clean up his work area. He had noticed that Yoongi was quiet when he came in - both tonight and last time. He wasn't sure why until he overheard their conversation. Yoongi's music made him sad. He thought it was strange. But he knew he wanted to try and make it better. Anything to put a smile on that gorgeous face. Plus, now he knew the man with him wasn't his boyfriend. He smiled, turning around.

***

"So, do you come here often?" Jimin asked. "Most nights after work," Yoongi replied sheepishly. He didn't want Jimin to think he had a drinking problem. "I just come to unwind after I write or record. It helps me sleep better."

That gave Jimin the opening he needed to ask about Yoongi's music. He really was curious about why he was writing music that made him sad and feel the need to "unwind."

"Tell me about the song you're working on," Jimin requested. Yoongi gave him a strange look as he contemplated whether he really wanted to talk about it. Something about the way Jimin looked at him made him feel like he could open up. Like he wanted to know the truth versus just making small talk.

"Umm... it's sort of a dark song. It describes the paradox between the private me and the me that I think people will see once my music comes out. They will see the glamour of an idol rapper but that's not the real me. It's also about who I feel like sometimes versus who I want to be."

"And who do you feel like?" Jimin wonders aloud.

Yoongi swigs the rest of his drink before replying. "I don't know. Weak. Like a fraud almost. Like I have all this opportunity but do I really deserve it? Deep down I know that I've worked hard to get where I am. It's not easy to debut as a solo rapper. But I still struggle with feeling anxious about it. There are a lot of other great artists."

"Yoongi, I think the fact that you are writing a song about this stuff means that you do deserve your success. A lot of people make music that is all fluff and no substance. It has no message. Artists who have something to say should have the platform to do it. You can make real change. It tells me a lot about who you are as a person and then an artist."

Yoongi was so surprised by Jimin's words. They comforted him in a way that he hadn't been able to comfort himself. He wanted to keep Yoongi and Agust D as separate people but there were times he couldn't. "That's why I'm writing this song. I really want to help normalize men feeling anxiety or depression."

Jimin smiled warmly. "I can't wait to hear your music."

"All my songs aren't about heavy stuff though. Some are just about being in the business. Or how great I am at rapping" Yoongi said as a joke to lighten the mood. He wasn't sure if it was the whiskey or Jimin's presence, but he was feeling better. Happier.

"I bet you're the shit," Jimin said back with a laugh. Yoongi's eyes went wide with surprise. "O yeah, how do you know?"

"I can just tell. You give off an aura of being great at everything you do," Jimin said with a wink - leaving Yoongi stunned.

Wow. Is he flirting with me? What about Tae? Yoongi wondered to himself.

"Hey, how long have you known your boss?" Yoongi asked, not being able to stop himself.

"Just since I started here. He's cool though. He's helping me learn some tricks so I can get good fast. At least he does when he's not hiding somewhere with his boyfriend," Jimin laughed, looking around all of a sudden.

So Tae isn't his boyfriend. He could still have one though.

"And what about you? Are you seeing anyone?" Yoongi asked. He couldn't believe himself. He never ever showed interest in dating. It was a distraction to his goals. Something he couldn't afford to let happen. But he just couldn't resist wanting to know Jimin more. He was smart, sweet, and so amazingly beautiful.

Jimin literally laughed out loud. It was music to Yoongi's ears - until he replied "no, I don't really date. No one sees past this" he said, drawing a circle around his face. "They want a hump and dump or a "relationship" that is really just a friends with benefits arrangement. I want more. So I'm not dating until I find it."

"You deserve more," Said Yoongi, feeling sorry for Jimin. No one deserved to be treated that way. It was strange that they were both single by choice but for such different reasons.

"I have work in the morning so I need to head out. It was great talking to you. Thank you for that," Yoongi said as he started to get up.

"See you next time," Jimin smiled with a slight blush on his cheeks.

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