Yoongi is working on his first mixtape. Jimin is a new bartender at Yoongi's favorite hangout.
Yoongi is bound by idol rules not to date. Jimin is afraid of being used again.
What happens if they can't control their feelings, their jealous exes, or...
Yoongi read over the 2nd verse of the song he's working on. He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. Studio sessions were getting harder and harder as he worked on these last songs.
They were the realest in many ways. They took him back to places he didn't really want to go but knew he needed to go. Dark thoughts and anxiety were a regular battle - one he was winning. But he wanted anyone who listened to his music to know that it was OK to have those feelings. That it wasn't shameful. And that it wasn't uncommon. He wanted his fans, especially the young ones, to know that it was ok to ask for help.
Still, these sessions made him relive some of the darkest feelings he'd ever had. Writing good music meant that he had to feel those things again. Otherwise, he was just impersonating another version of himself.
*Flashback*
Yoongi was in high school.
The bell rang signaling lunch time. He felt his stomach growling. He hoped no one could hear it. Like every day, he had the choice to either eat a small lunch or take the bus to work. Work was over two miles away so most days, he chose the bus. Today was going to be one of those days.
He slid away to his favorite hiding spot: the school rooftop. The views were beautiful and it gave him time to think about the music he was working on. Some days it felt pointless. He barely got paid by the artists he helped produce - they were struggling themselves. But he knew that all the work would pay off one day. He just had to keep trying.
Ignoring his stomach, he sat down on an upside-down bucket and tossed his book bag aside. He pulled out his notebook where he kept his music journals.
'Write something good, you idiot' he told himself.
It's not easy but engrave it on your chest
If you seem like your going to crash, step
Harder kid
Yoongi often felt like he was going to crash. He didn't know who, or what, he would become after school. He knew he couldn't afford college. He couldn't even afford lunch. Music was the only way. So he pushed harder. Every. Single. Day.
The bell rang signaling it was time to go to his next class. Yoongi sighed and drank some water from his bottle - silently praying it would keep his stomach quiet.
**********************
"Owww shit!"
Yoongi jumped as he was pulled out of his trance.
Namjoon rubbed the toe he had obviously just stubbed on the table.
"God of destruction strikes again" Yoongi laughed. Joon did an exaggerated laugh, not finding Yoongi funny at all.
"You're hilarious," Namjoon said sarcastically. "What are you working on?"
"I'm not sure of the name yet. It's kind of a...sad song actually."
"Sad?" Joon asked, surprised.
"Yeah. It's pretty different from the rest of the songs. I started writing it when I was in a bad place...emotionally," Yoongi said - looking sheepish. "I started it more as therapy for myself but got to thinking that it would be good to put it out there for everyone. I wish mental health wasn't such a stigma and I want to help that change."
"Wow. That's brave," Joon replied to his best friend. "I'm proud of you. I know it has to be scary as fuck to put something so personal out there."
"Thanks Joonie," Yoongi replied, flashing his biggest gummy smile.
"Let's go get a drink."
💜💜💜 A/N
Hope you like this so far! I'm excited to keep writing my first story :)
Please vote and comment - I would love to read them!
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One of my favorite recent Yoonmin pics. Nothing to do with the story lol 💜💜
