This Is Just The Beginning

Chapter 11

~Stella's POV~
-Stella is now 19 weeks-
Kelly and I have been trying to discuss what we want to do as far as if we want to keep our relationship as a friendship, or something more. But I'm torn.

I don't know what I want to do anymore.
I was in my room, getting ready for shift.
I decided that I'm gonna tell Casey today that I'm pregnant. Next week, I have my 20 week appointment and I have to discuss what I want to do in terms of work.

However, I still don't want anyone to know that Kelly and I are living together, and the reason why.
So we decided to take our separate cars to work.

"Hey Stella, we have to go now or we'll be late!" I heard Kelly call out.
"Ok!" I called back.
I grabbed my shift bag and ran out.

I got in my car and drove to shift.
I went into the locker room and Kelly was there too.
I put my shift bag away in my locker and quickly downed some prenatal meds before someone else walked in.

"What are those for?" He asked me.
"The bruises. Because of all the bruises I used to get, I was loosing blood, so this was to thicken up my blood a little so that way I wouldn't bleed as much." I explained.

He nodded his head.
"Hey... I was wondering if maybe.. we could talk about.. us more.." he whispered to me.
Then everyone from shift started coming in and talking to each other.

"Not here.. maybe later." I whispered back.
"Everyone, briefing's in 5." Casey came in and told everyone.

After briefing, I went to Casey's office.
"Hey, Captain... do you have a moment?" I asked him.
He looked a little surprised that I was there. Because I never talk to anyone on shift.
"Yea sure. What do you need?" He asked me.
"I just wanted to tell you something... and it might affect my position." I told him.

He looked confused.
"Ok... what is it?" He asked.
"Um... I'm pregnant... and I'm 19 weeks now... I still want to be on truck. But I know I'm leaving next week. I'm not sure if I'm leaving the firehouse or just moving units. I will talk to chief about that though.. I just really needed you to know because of what happened last week..." I explained.

He looked shocked and a bit concerned.
"Oh wow... um... well first Congratulations.... And... ok, thanks for letting me know. I'll keep that in mind on calls from now on... hope everything is well." He explained.
I nodded my head. For once, I wasn't lying.

He nodded his head and gave a little smile at me.
I went to the bunk room and just sat on my bunk.

Dawson came over a little while later.
"Hey. How've you been?" She asked me.
"Good, good... it's been an adjustment, but good." I smiled.

"How's living with Severide been?" She asked.
"Different... you know... but... it's been good. Right now we're trying to figure somethings out... but I'm just grateful he got me out of there.." I said.

She nodded her head.
"How are things with you and Severide anyway?" She asked me.
"Trying to figure out what to do... I'm just... I'm torn." I sighed.

"Like... staying friends or becoming something more?" She asked.
"Yea... it's just... I can't tell if I like him for real, or if I'm just in love with the fact that he helped me escape that abusive relationship..." I sighed.

"Well, have you told him how you feel?" She asked me.
"Yea, I have. And he was just really sweet about it and he was like 'whatever you decide, I'll be ok with.' But like, I don't want to upset him if I choose a wrong answer, but I don't know what I want to do either." I explained.

"Well... have you thought about it?" She asked me.
"Yea, I have... and... I just don't know... I mean.. he's so sweet to me and actually treats me right... but then again... I don't know... I've been just rethinking about it over, and over again. I mean like, that night that we had was amazing. He even checked up on me during his shift and he laid there with me in bed until Squad was calling his radio, asking him what was taking so long..." I said.

"Girl... it sounds like you might like him..." she chuckled.
I chuckled too.
"I just... ugh, I don't know..." I sighed.

"How are you still on truck?" She chuckled.
"Well I just told Casey that I'm pregnant, and next week I go to Dr. Manning and we have to talk about what I'm gonna do." I explained.

"What we're you thinking about doing?" She asked me.
"I'm not sure. She told me I could move to Ambo, go to OFI, or probably just stop working all together. Before, I was afraid about not working because... I didn't want to stay home with Grant... but, now I don't have to worry about that." I explained.

"Well... do you want to keep working? Or would you like to stay home? And when are you gonna tell the firehouse about this?" She asked.
"I'm not too sure. Yes, this is getting a little annoyed and stressful trying to hide... but, I feel like I could keep working for a bit more..." I explained.

"Alright, sounds like you have a lot to think about..." she chuckled.
"Yea, a lot..." I chuckled.

"How've you been though? Has it been hard so far?" She asked, referring to the pregnancy.
"It's been... I don't know... it's been hard... stressful... when I was with Grant.. but now that I'm living with Kelly... it's been more easy because I'm way way less stressed than I was before." I said.

Ambo 61, Person in Distress 87 Westcott Ave

"We can talk more later." She told me before she ran out.

-Later-
Truck just came back from a call. I went to the bunk room. I sat on my bunk, thinking about somethings.
I looked at Kelly in his quarters. He was just doing some paperwork.

I thought for a moment. Then I just got up and went over to his office.
He looked up at me.
"Hey." He said.
"Hey." I told him.

He looked at me and turned away from his paper work.
"What's up?" He asked me.
"Um... you wanna maybe talk about... us?" I asked him.
He looked at me and pointed to his bunk.

I sat down on his bunk.
He closed the door.
"So... you've made a decision?" He asked.
I looked at him unsure and just sighed.

"I-... I don't know... I feel like it's just..." I sighed and put my head in my hands, trying to think of the words.
"It's ok... you don't have to make a decision right now.. I understand the circumstances.." he said.

I looked back up at him.
"What do you think... about us?" I asked him.
He looked like he was thinking. Then he finally spoke.
"I... don't mind which one you would want to choose. Like I said before, you wanna stay friends? That's ok. You wanna become something... more? I'll be ok with that too. I don't want to pressure you to make that decision." He explained.

I looked at him, laughed a little, and shook my head and looked down.
"You're no help." I laughed.
He laughed too.

"Come on, just tell me what you really think. Forget about what I think..." I told him.
He just laughed.
"I already told you. I don't mind either." He said.

I looked at him.
"Just tell me what you feel. Do you think it would be best to stay friends? Or do you think we could become something better?" I asked him.
"I don't care. I don't mind either way." He chuckled.

I sighed.
"Ok then. Let's just keep this.. as friends." I said.
He nodded his head.
"Ok. Friends it is." He said.

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