Unsuccessful

Truth of Me...

Tessa'Point of View...

I stand in my room, getting ready for my official/un-official trip. Today me and Hardin will be traveling to Seattle. Hardin will be picking me up at 9:00 Am. It's already 8:15 Am and to say that I am not nervous will be a lie. Yes, I am nervous. Last time when we went to Seattle, we stayed at his newly bought penthouse. Things between us got pretty heated. Now, we are going back to the same penthouse that holds so many good and bad memories for me. Last time I was there, I kissed Hardin, Swimmed with him and got naked with him and ended the night in his arms. This time it's different, it's different because Hardin admitted his true feelings towards me, he confessed not only his liking but love for me. I cannot believe he dropped the L-word for me. I thought he didn't believed in love. Also, Hardin' icecream shop gesture was so sweet. I never thought the famous Hardin Scott can have that side of his personality as well.

"You look beautiful", I stumble as I turn to see my sister standing behind me. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to startle you", I smile.."No worries Terr, it's ok. Anything important you have for me", my sister just shakes her head and had a sad smile on her face. "I saw you and Hardin kissing last night, what was that all about", my sister knocks air out of my lungs with her observation from last night. "Umm..what you are saying, I don't know Terr". Terra closes the gap between us and stands in front of me. "Was it you who cheated in your relationship with Matthew or was it really him, I expect nothing but Truth Tess", I shake my head and move pass my sister. "You really think that I will cheat on Matthew and then he will cover up for me by saying that he had sex with another woman and therefore I ended our relationship", Terra again closes the gap between us.."Don't crowd me Terr..", I request some space from my sister. Terra takes a step backwards and crosses her arms across her chest. "I don't know, you tell me, Tess. I know you won't lie to me about Matthew cheating on you but again the day your engagement ended and you broke up with your 8 Year long boyfriend, who was about to become your fiancee, I saw you kissing your boss. So, even if the part where Matthew cheated might be true, there is something between you and Hardin that none of us know about. So, please tell me what's going on between you and Hardin". I feel like crying all over again just by looking at my sister's disappointed and angry face. No, I won't cry, I have done that a lot lately. "I don't know Terr. Yesterday after we discovered Matthew cheating on me, I was sad and I was distraught. Hardin took me to his favorite icecream shop where he has been going ever since he was a child and there he confessed his feelings for me. I never knew that he loved me, I was too busy to love Matthew to notice that Hardin might have feelings for me. He confessed, I kissed him and..and we drove home. Before leaving he invited me to go to Seattle with him for a business trip and today he will pick me up at 9 Am. I don't know what I feel for Hardin, do I like him, yes, I like him. I am attracted to him but I am not at a stage to start loving someone again. We might be dating but we never had that discussion", Terra nods and moves towards me. She wipes away my tears, that I didn't even realize were there. "If Hardin makes you happy, then it's ok. Take your time Tess, I just don't want you to get hurt again, please be careful", I nod and hug her back."Does me wanting something with Hardin after my break up with Matthew makes me a bad person", I need a confirmation from my sister. Terra shakes her head and smiles and caresses my cheek. "No, it doesn't. We cannot control who we like and who we want. If you want to be with Hardin, then be with Hardin. Just be careful. Trust is something that is easily broken but is difficult to built. Just..form your relationship with Hardin on the foundation of love, trust and faith, ok?", I nod and smile at my sister's maturity. "God, you are too mature of your age", Terra laughs and slaps my shoulder. "Go, get ready. Your boy toy will be here in another 20 minutes", we laugh at Hardin' new nickname. Maybe I will try to use this name for him on this trip, just to see how he will react. Hardin hardly laughs, he needs some laughter therapy. I mentally laugh at the way Hardin always acts specially in front of others.