Unsuccessful

Understanding Hardin..

Tessa Point of View...

I woke up by the sound of my alarm. I look around and find myself in my room only. I turn and look a peaceful Hardin sleeping by my side, snoring silently. He looks so different from what I saw yesterday. He looks peaceful now, he looked devasted yesterday, he looks handsome now, he looked broken yesterday. I still don't understand the complete reason about Hardin' yesterday's breakdown. What happened that the strong and confident demeanor that he usually carries with himself, yesterday that demeanor was replaced to weak and insecure demeanor. Did it happened because of our fight? That's a question that still clouds my thoughts. I need to find out what happened to him yesterday after we fought, after I left his room. Yesterday Hardin was in a bad emotional state, I couldn't asked him anything but today maybe I will. But, the question remains, will he let me in? Hardin, has this quality where he is good at pushing people away, specially me. It happened in Seattle and I am scared it will happen in Texas as well.

I need to start my day. I almost booked my flights back to Washington but thanks to Hardin, it did not happened. I press a gentle kiss on Hardin' forehead and he snuggles his face depper in to the cushion that he is holding, I smile at his innocent response to my kiss. I leave my bed, letting Hardin sleep peacefully. I just started my bathroom routine, when I hear a knock on my door. Who will it be this early, I mentally ask myself. I  quickly make my way out from the bathroom, afraid that who so ever is on the door might awake Hardin by their knocks. As I open the door to my suite, I am shocked to see the person standing on the opposite side, it's Hardin' mother. She is here in Texas. But, how and why?

I look at her and she looks at me and flashes that amazing smile of hers to me. I smile back and crosses my room threshold to hug her. "Goodmorning Tessa..How are you?", I break our embrace, " I am doing ok ummm", shit I don't know her name. She sences my confusion and lovingly tells me her name. " Lilly..I am Lilly Scott, Hardin' mother, we met before". Lilly Scott, how can I not know her name. She is a well known personality, wife of the famous Mark Scott, CEO of Scott Business Group. She asks me to come out and I nod and silently closes my door.

"So I know Hardin is with you. Is he still sleeping?", Her question catches me off-guard. I nod and nervously bite my tongue. " Nothing happened Mrs Scott, trust me, we are just colleagues or you can say he is just my boss. I don't know what happened to Hardin last night, he had a mental breakdown and therefore I brought him to my room to sleep", she laughs at my nervousness, great start Tessa. "Don't worry Tessa honey, I know nothing happened between you and Hardin yesterday, let's just say given yesterday's circumstances, I will say sex would be the last topic on my son's agenda", by the mere mention of me and Hardin having sex or even the possibility makes me blush like a teenage girl. Lilly apparently sences my Awkwardness and again laughs. "Let him sleep, I will meet him in some time, can you come with me, let's go out to the hotel cafe for a cup of coffee". I nod and ask her to give me 5 minutes, so, that I can look more presentable for others. In 5 minutes, I met her in the hallway, I lock my door and together we head towards the hotel cafe.

We both order Cappuccino, mine with cream and her's without cream. We sit for atleast 10 minutes without anyone uttering anything towards eachother, she looks at the menu kept in her front and I look at her. I am currently having an inner turmoil, whether I should or I shouldn't ask Hardin' mother the reason about Hardin' breakdown from last night, I have a feeling her visit to Texas is related to that. She looks nice and she was the one who asked me for coffee, I should ask her.

I nervously gather some courage to ask Hardin' mother the reason about Hardin' breakdown, if she even knows that. "Umm..I don't want to overstep any boundaries, but, do you know anything about Hardin' breakdown from last night". She nods and I can see tears in her eyes, god, it must be something big. She wipes away her tears, hold back her beautiful blond locks, and puts her hands on her head and sighs deeply. "Hardin' dad left us yesterday. Mark was in an accident yesterday and he passed away in the accident, Tessa". The news that she delivers me knock the entire air out of my body, if I am this shocked then I can only imagine what Hardin must have felt yesterday, no wonder he broke down yesterday, that was a son crying on his father's early departure. Instantly, without even realizing what I am doing, I gently put my hands at top of Lilly's, she looks down at my gesture and smiles back. "It's a tough time for us honey, I knew yesterday that something like this will happen and therefore I had to come, I needed to be here, with my son, I was afraid he would be alone, but, I am glad he had you lastnight. Thank you Tessa, for looking at my son." I nod and give her a warm smile. " You don't have to thank me, Mrs Scott, I would have done that for anyone, even a stranger, that's the least I can do on the grounds of basic Humanity". She smiles and relaxes herself. "Is it just on the sake of humanity, that you cared my son last night or is it something more", her direct analysis catches me off-guard. I never thought that Hardin' mother will be so honest and out spoken, now, I know from whom he inherited those qualities. I shake my head. " I cannot do anything more or let anything happen between us, I am in a relationship already and I love the guy, I am currently dating". She just looks at me with a sad smile on her face. "30 years...for 30 years I was married to Mark, we were in love when we married. He was only 25 and I was only 23, he was my senior at college, I met him when I was a fresher and he was in his 3rd year of business school. I married him when he only had promises for me and lots of dreams for himself and for us, nothing else. He didn't had money or any job security, only thing he had was his love. It was enough for me, we started our journey from a small 1 bedroom apartment. I got pregnant with Hardin two years later our Marriage, I still remember the day Hardin was born, the day I hold him in my arms, the day our love was sealed for eternity, the day we finally had the purest symbol of our love, our beautiful baby boy. 30 years Tessa, 30 long years and look at me now, Hardin was correct last night, I might have lost Mark physically today, but, the day he left me and Hardin for another woman, was the day he truly died for me and for us. I just loved him enough to never let go". I am stunned hearing what Lilly just told me. Mark Scott cheated on his wife and abondoned his son. No wonder Hardin is so scared about commitments, now, I can understand him little bit, she continues." So if you tell me now, that you love this person, this man, trust me honey, young love is Passionate, I once had it too. But, with age and time, everything changes, everyone changes. I am no longer the person I was when I married Mark and Mark was no longer the same man who once loved me". I see a silent tear trails down from her eyes to her cheeks and then to her lips, she licks her tears from her lips and wipes them off from her eyes. She continues and I let her. If she wants someone to just sit and listen to her, I will do it for her the entire day.

"Hardin had a troubled childhood growing up. He saw me and Mark getting in to fights, he saw us arguing almost everyday, he saw his dad leaving him and leaving me for weeks , sometimes for months, it was like we never had him with us ever." She takes a long silence and then heavily breaths. "Last night my son confirmed my biggest fear, his dad raped me, forced me to have sex against my acceptance, and all these years, I thought, my baby boy never knew about it. I thought that was the only cruelty of his father, that maybe, just maybe he never witnessed. But, sadly he did. He did saw his dad raping his mother all these years and he never let that slip his mouth." Lilly is now crying heavily. I quickly grab my seat and moves more closer to her. " I failed him as a mother, Tessa. The only son, I had, I failed my only son as a mother. I failed myself as a wife and I failed my son as a mother. Sometimes I wonder, why I am still living this awful life, but, I cannot leave Hardin. With Mark' passing away, Hardin only have me and even if I failed him as a mother, I cannot leave him alone. I cannot leave him alone in this world." She is crying her eyes out and I gently stroke her back and let her rest her head on my shoulder. I can see the mother who is crying for her son, I can see the mother who is crying because she was never able to deliver a peaceful and joyful childhood to her son, I can now understand Hardin a lot better, why he is scared of commitments, why he doesn't believe in love, why he doesn't want any relationship in his life, why he is who he is, I can now finally understand "Hardin Scott a lot better"...

----------Authors note-------------

Another update for my amazing readers. When I started, I never thought that I will be this addicted to post my updates, just reading your comments and your inputs, encourages me more to post multiple updates a day. I will be posting my next update soon.

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