Futures Unseen (Chasing Titania #2)

Sparks of Madness

I had been reading so much. Since Arn left, I'd stopped training to summon my weapon and take that time to read. I had read Argus' journal first, which may have been a mistake. His was filled with very intimate retellings of everything he and Ezra did alone. There were beautiful drawings. I felt ashamed going through it. There was so much I shouldn't have had to witness strewn throughout. 

The ending made me very sad. Argus wrote about how much he'd missed Ezra. He discussed the one time he had tried to be intimate with his new companion, Caesar, but he couldn't because Ezra was written on his mind. I learned about these thorn rings they had given one another.

One morning, I tried to ask Ezra, but he wouldn't tell me about it. He just kept laughing, saying love is pain.

When Levi dropped off Ezra's diary, Thalia had flagged pages for me. She thought this was best so I wouldn't have to read through anything unnecessary. It was a hefty volume. 

I read from Ezra's perspective how he and Argus met (awful), how Argus teased and belittled Ezra (rude), how Argus fooled Ezra at the Belle Mansion (scandalous), and the many times Ezra locked himself away under the understanding that who he was meant he couldn't be with Argus. Then they decided to give it an unlabeled try (cute), kept it a secret (relatable), and how everyone figured them out. Seeing what Xena was like from Ezra's perspective was hilarious. He thought her so unfiltered, just like I did.

Xena, in the diary, let me know what I had suspected. Lilith gave away most of her power to have children. 

I read of Argus and Ezra's trials in Gudell, the issue with Jonathan, and how they were better off because of it. 

The scariest part was the fight against Serberous. How it fucked up Ezra so severely he couldn't be intimate anymore. But he never told Argus. He left them. Locked himself away in a tower. He went absolutely mad. Argus' death caused him to have hallucinations he couldn't explain. I learned why he hated Leviathan. I read what I had seen. And in the end, it was heartbreaking. He killed himself with Levi's help. Right in front of both him and Arn.

 It took me time to emotionally process what I had read. Then I had so many questions I sought everyone I could.

First, I asked Domascus about the end.

"Was it you?" I questioned. 

"Most of them, yes," he flipped through the pages. "Although this one here, with Gaellileo, was a hallucination. I was the one who informed him about Argus' death. I kept checking on him. Ezra used a spell to keep us out, using locks of our hair, but after I ascended, I was no longer the same body barred from that place."

"He hated you because you were the one he saw," I mentioned.

"I'm aware," Levi grinned. "I never expected him to forgive me. I'm just glad he remembered who I was."

"He factored you into his death. Were you okay with Arn seeing that?"

"He had to know what my job was sooner or later," he nodded. "It's part of Arn's job, after all."

Next, I grilled Argus.

We were out on a smoke break when I asked.

"What happened with you and Ezra after the battle of Serberous?"

Argus coughed. "Well, he never recovered from the madness. Cali did, of course, because the madness was a part of her all along. Lilith got through it by staying drunk. Ezra was gone. Then he got a summons back to his home, refusing to take any of us because of how his fae die off."

"Did you know it was because of the madness?"

"What do you mean?" he glared at me.

"Ezra was sick because of the madness. He kept having horrendous visions when he intimately was with you. You never noticed."