Foolish Games

21. Well, Merry Christmas

Finally, his family arrived and Joni felt relieved; just three days and he'd get home! Of course, he had had fun with Chris, but... 

He had to admit that was getting annoyed at how the man kept trying to get him to have anal sex with him. The man wanted to get his dick into HIS butt, the other way around seemed to be out of the question and Joni felt slight confusion over why so many wanted him this way.

That afternoon, they were sitting in the living room watching a movie. Suvi was leaning against Adam; Chris was seated on the side of them, Joni next to Nina and Sami on the floor.

When Joni heard the sound of the arriving car, he knew it was them even before Merja's shout;

"They're here!"

Sami, who had been expecting Joni's brothers, jumped up immediately and ran towards the hall. Joni looked after him, feeling unsure. Part of him wanted to let his dad know that he was still mad, and the other part wanted to go there and greet them. He heard the door open, and he heard their voices; he glanced towards Chris and saw him looking back at him.

Joni stood up, his gaze drifting away from Chris, and headed towards the hall. He stood in the doorway. His dad was happily talking with his brother. The twins were trying to get rid of their heavy outdoor clothing. Sami was waiting somewhat impatiently for them to finish so they could go up to his room to play some cool new game he had. Katja was kneeling on the floor, helping Sini to undress.

Joni tilted his head. He felt like an outsider looking at them, a feeling like he didn't belong, that he was extra and... He couldn't explain it. Perhaps he was jealous? Would it be so bad to feel so? Was it childish to wish for his mother's presence? He often caught himself wondering what she would have been like now and if he would have been different had she been there. 

His memories of her were scattered and few, moments here and there; she had smiled and laughed a lot, and he remembered her moving in the house singing some old tune, dancing. She had held him in his arms and danced. He remembered her sitting at the dressing table, doing her makeup, looking at him in the mirror, and smiling; they were going to a restaurant.

He remembered her dressing him up, brushing his hair, and kissing his forehead, holding his hand as they walked.

"Where is Joni?" He heard his father asking and snapped from his thoughts.

"Hi..." Joni muttered when their eyes finally met and his dad gave him a curious look and an unsure smile.

"Won't I get a hug?" he asked, reaching his arms out slightly. Joni felt stupid, he wanted to say something snappy, little children hugged their parents but... He shrugged, walked cautiously closer, and gave his dad a brief manly hug before pulling back. "Have you had fun here?" his father asked and again Joni glanced at him and shrugged.

"It's been okay," he decided to answer after a moment of silence. "I can come home with you though, right?" he asked anxiously. "I promised Dima that we..." he started, but his father soon interrupted him.

"We'll talk about this later, okay Joni? It's been a long drive."

"Dad, we going to go play!" his brothers shouted and without waiting for an answer, the three boys ran upstairs.

"Joni, Joni, new pinta, look!" Sini tugged the fabric of his pants, looking up at him, showing him a Barbie doll dressed as a princess. Joni smiled at her.

"It's really pretty," he said and lifted his sister to his arms when she reached for him.

Katja grinned and walked closer, touching his cheek.