UA's Ghoul | Ghoul!Izuku Au |

The friends which never left.

TW: I know I've written things about self-harm before, but this chapter contains pretty detailed writing of the thoughts and processes someone might feel while dealing with such a topic. Please do not read if it might trigger you, it starts once Uraraka enters Dekus dorm room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the days after his meeting with Nezu passed, the feelings of happiness didn't stick around for long, the gratitude which surrounded his relief never faded. After some back and forth discussions with the officers on his case and Nezu, Izuku was finally given permission to test the food they had created, which turned out to be an amazing success.

It certainly wasn't as good as the previous food they had been feeding him, and far worse than the food he had collected himself while hunting on the streets, but the relief he felt knowing he was finally able to eat something which wasn't from a person who had been harmed left him in tears of joy.

Once he had returned back to the dorms after their successful first trial, with a small smile on his face, Uraraka and Todoroki had almost instantly come up to see him and started asking him questions at the rare yet welcoming expression.

It only took a few minutes for the trio to reach Izuku's bedroom, where he explained the great news, for Uraraka to launch himself at her with a delighted laugh; Todoroki awkwardly offering a comforting smile over her shoulder before the brunette had dragged him along into the hug as well.

In that small moment, Izuku allowed himself to bathe in the rare warmth and comfort he felt coming from his friends.

It was good, it felt nice, the weight of the guilt and stress slowly trickling off of him. Izuku knew deep down it would take far longer, maybe even years, for all the guilt and hate he felt within himself to disappear; but it was a start that he could only have dreamt of before.

It was because of these unreal feelings, that once the pair of them had left him to his own devices, that the overwhelming feeling of emptiness struck him hard; the thoughts flying through his mind making him doubt himself.

The awful, somber guilt he felt clawed at his chest. The silence of the room deafening as the smile dropped off his face once his door shut behind his friends, leaving him all alone. He stood in silence for a while, contemplating whether it would be worth going down to the living room with them and the rest of their class before he brushed the idea off, slowly walking to his window before sitting in the dark of his own room wishing to feel the chill of the night time air.

The stars which scattered the night sky were morbidly comforting as they reminded him of the freedom he once had.

Izuku dragged in a long, deep breath.

It was all starting to become a little too much for him, the two extremes of kindness and fear which were sent his way, making him feel so wanted and yet so depressed and alone all at the same time.

It made him feel horrible inside, as his mind fooled him into believing he wasn't being grateful enough, for the lengths and extremes his friends were going for him. Yet Izuku felt as if he didn't deserve any of it at all.

The next day Izuku was called to see the principal again, awkwardly bringing up the possibilities of rejoining his class heroic lessons, which left Nezu in the dilemma of explaining to him why that would be possible; at least for now.

"As much as I would like for things to go back to some sort of normalcy, with your training during heroic lessons, Midoriya, I'm afraid that won't be possible until we have proven that the food we have developed holds up during training with your quirks just as well as it does now."