Ambrollins : Be My Baby

Chapter 79

Seth POV:

The song plays in the empty diner that I'm sitting in. The time on my phone read sometime earlier evening. Hell, it can be 7 in the evening, but all I know is that it is early, and I'm drunk. I thought, maybe, just maybe, if I drank enough, the pain in my chest would stop.

I knew better, though; I knew I did, but I did it all the same. I thought if I consumed enough alcohol, I would forget about the betrayal I had done to Dean, but I couldn't. Why don't I? Because I love him! Why did the files get into my sight, huh?

Instead of wandering around the house happily, here I'm drunk and all alone in this stupid, sad excuse for a bistro. It is the closest thing open near the bar that I have attempted to drink away my pain in. Whenever I close my eyes, the image of what I have done gets into my mind and embarrasses me. Still, I'm suffering from the same issue and drifting back to the earlier morning incident.

After pulling the car near the park, I grabbed the files and slipped out of it. My hands were shaking about what I was going to do. Leaning against the car for a few minutes, I considered my decision again and worried my lip. I knew my decision was wrong, but I couldn't go against my grandpa.

Taking a deep breath, I encouraged myself and invaded the park. Probably I was going to make the biggest mistake of my life, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Waving a hand at my mom, I ran over to her and gave her a weak smile.

Having a side hug with her, I handed the files to her and let her took a peek at them. While she was flipping the pages curiously, I looked down at the ground and played with my fingers nervously. I hoped she would take care of the situation without involving me in this.

She closed the file loudly and took a deep breath before focusing on me again. "I-I know about this already."

"What?!" My eyes widened in shock, having no idea about what was happening around me. "Then you know grandpa is doing drug dealings. Why did you inform me in the beginning?"

"What could you do? You could do nothing even if you knew about it earlier." She shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest. She then took a deep breath and held the files out to me, "At least give these files back to Dean and let him do something."

My mouth fell open to respond, but words failed me. "Nah," I shook my head and walked backward with tears well up in my eyes, knowing what I was doing. Turning back carelessly, I ran toward the gate but stopped when her voice got my attention.

"Seth." She called, walking over to me and trying to guess my mind. "Why did you care for your grandpa this much? He hurt you and almost tried to blow your head.."

"Yeah, but he never tried to kill me at once!" I turned to look at her, regretting my decision to spin around so abruptly. "Betraying someone was not new to me so, Dean would guess, but.." The words halted in my throat when I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I knew who it might be, and I couldn't attend the call. Taking a deep breath, I stared at her and spilled my heart out. "Maybe grandpa has the heart to punish me, but I'll never have the heart to punish him. Never!" With that, I ran out of the park and got into the car.

My mind snaps back to reality when the waitress comes over and fills my glass again. I thank her and think about the situation that I'm in. What would Dean decide now? Does my boyfriend mad at me? Does he forgive me? What if he doesn't want to live with me anymore?

I slap the back of my head for thinking stupid things, but I have to consider it, anyway. What will I do if he decides to leave me? "I should call him," I mutter under my breath, looking at my phone that is sitting on the table. "I should call him and apologize, and everything will be all right. Dean and I can be together like we have meant to be."

I pick up the phone and turn it on from the switch off, my heart clenching at its background picture. I keep my phone very close to me, never letting anyone anywhere near it, scaring they might try to separate us. I stare back at the picture; the alcohol is blurring my vision, but the hold that Dean's photographed eyes have on me cut me deep.

They look back at me, looking deep into my damaged, blackened soul, and I can almost hear his words. "Why, Seth? Why would you do this to me? I thought you were my baby, but you never would. How could you be so selfish? How could you betray the man you ever truly loved?"

I scoff and throw my phone down, which is probably for the best. My sober self doesn't know what to say to Dean to make any of this better, so why does my drunk self think it knows any better? I sit here quietly; my gaze fixes on nothing in particular until I feel it's time to face the situation.

I grab my phone from the floor and slip it into my pocket before going out of the diner. I get in the car and drive all the way quietly, thinking about what to do. Due to my mind cloud with too many thoughts, I put on a hard swerve and hit my neighbor's car on the way home.

My face hits the steering wheel and forces me hard to open my eyes, but I have to do it, anyway. The neighbor knocks on the window and signals me to come out. Blinking my eyes rapidly, I stumble out of the car and argue with him, not knowing where I'm leading the fight with.

Thankfully, Dean approaches right on time and apologizes to the neighbor for what has happened. He holds me against his side and wraps his arm around my waist, helping me to straighten up and trying to convince the neighbor. Their conversation is boring me, so I shove him away and stumble inside my gate, letting him handle the things.