Say My Name | A Minsung Fan-Fiction

chapter thirteen

The past two months since Mr. Lee and I have exchanged anything more than a few words at a time have been filled with awkward moments and unreciprocated attempts at conversation on my end. From his unwarranted glares at Hyunjin and I when the little group we've formed hangs out with one another, his now unveiled canny strive for perfection, my exploration of this city, and traveling with him for this job; it's been rough to say the least. His true colors have been revealed to me and they're not pretty. He's callous and he's cruel yet somehow I want him more by the day. Perhaps it's just the fact that I know why he is the way he is, maybe I'm a fool, but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.

I've never been one to fall easily, especially for someone that treats me like shit or ignores me half the time. I suppose I've slept with my fair share of men and casually dated a few, but I've never had someone sweep me off my feet. I know it's an unrealistic desire but the closest I've ever come to that feeling is when I'm him. Nobody has ever made me feel quite like he does and the possibility of it all being too good to be true doesn't escape my mind. There's definitely something wrong with me. That's unequivocal.

Hyunjin and I have grown to be really close friends in the amount of time since Changbin had formed his plans. We've stopped having sex as him and Seungmin have began to get to know each other better, but the PDA and our fake relationship has not.

Since moving to San Francisco last year, the two things I've missed the most are snow and rain. We exist in a micro-climate and in one neighborhood the weather could be as mild as it gets and and in another you could be freezing your balls off with the only difference being a short walking distance. I've found that wearing layers is the key to surviving here. No matter where you are or what you're doing, you have to wear layers.

There's fog everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I'm talking one day the Golden Gate Bridge looks vast and beautiful in all its' glory and another you can't even see the damn thing.

This city is tiny in terms of size. There's literally a race that happens every year on the third Sunday of May where people run from the bay to the ocean it's that tiny. They run in costume or just nude because it's legal here, I guess. Apparently directly afterwards, the rest of the city just follows behind them and parties? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't understand this place. When I'd planned to come here as a child, I never would've anticipated what the city would actually be like. It's nothing like what I'd pictured. I know I'm exactly where I need to be in terms of career opportunities but the image I had in my head turned out to be way far off from reality.

Everyone here loves themed things. Costumes too. At first when I moved here I had absolutely no idea why themes and costumes were so prevalent but by this point, I've adapted to the circumstances. I now own three feather boas and two sparkly fedoras because, well, I have to. This is what my life is now.

San Francisco is defined by its constant change. Everyone has their own take on what the city is like and what it'll be like in ten years time but I still haven't fully figured it out myself. I've found that the typical tourist destination spots aren't even what truly encapsulates this city, either. Instead, you can get to know the city through exploring the neighborhoods, walking the streets, or just talking to its' residents.

The beaches here serve no purpose. I imagined when coming here what the beach days would be like but when I finally found the time to explore, I was thoroughly surprised to find that I should've been wearing something akin to snow gear.