Splicing of Changes

Chapter 68

Today is a huge day for me. It's a milestone. As it is my graduation. Even if it's just from high school. It is still a huge thing for me. I was not sure I would even make it to here for a while and now I am here. It feels strange, weird and to some extent surreal.

Today Maize and I graduate. Even though I know that she is rolling her eyes and mumbling, 'I'm not alive'. I am not going to pay any heed to that. For I know no matter what we both are graduating today. Without Maize I would not be alive. She has been there for me always. Whether alive or as a ghost, as my memory. Whatever be the case Maize never left my side and for that I am grateful. Because I cannot think I would have even made it to my graduation without her helping hand, both visible and invisible alike. I know Maize is giving me weird looks right now. But I am not going to look at her. Truth be told that's simply because I would start crying once I do.

I just cannot believe we are graduating. Kris Monroe is graduating! It's not like I was a bad student. But I had faced way too many things already that this achievement makes me feel...like it's all surreal. Like this is some sort of weird, warped magic and none of this is real. I mean truth be told I also think ...really, I still haven't graduated high school and have already lost Maize, my parents and have been shot as well. Like damn man! And then I think this really is an achievement for me. A huge one. I mean it is small compared to well facing everything else including the accident. But it is still an achievement, nonetheless. And for me this, ranks higher than the rest because this one feels like yeah, I did something to achieve this. The rest were not really achievements in my eye. I just never felt like I accomplished anything with those. I don't know maybe I am just thinking too much again.

I shrug as I sit on my bed contemplating what to wear beneath my gown. I know we would be going out for lunch. I think it would just be us, the Millers and Lee's family. But still, I would like to dress up nicely. And since Lee and I talked or whatever it was we did that day after prom, I feel we are more in love and inseparable. And I just want to surprise my girl. Also, impress her and if that leads to teasing her, that's just a bonus.

Even though what Lee and I talked didn't feel like it was super serious, but I think it was in its own way. As things changed after that. Not very drastically but it did. At least for me and I know for Lee as well. I feel we are more in love and in tune with each other's feelings and thoughts than before. Also, I feel much closer to her now that we talked. I think I was able to clear Lee's doubts about Maize. I hope I did.

Another thing I just realized is this time I would actually be the one to throw the cap in air. Not watch my friends and ex do like last year. And even though I was present at their graduation last year, I barely heard a word. So, it would be a surprise for me this year. Not that I think I would be present for the whole ceremony. I mean I will be there physically but mentally I tend to zone out a lot. Not a good thing I know but I can't help it. And if by chance Lee is beside me or somewhere in front yeah, there is no chance that I will not zone out.

The venue where the graduation will be held is the same as last time. Only this time we will be seating in front in line for our names to be called. I am pinching myself and reminding that it is indeed real. This really is happening. That's sort of sad isn't it though? Anyways moving onto the best news. Alice is Valedictorian. She has the best marks and whatever else needed for it. Because I think you need exemplary performance in academics and in some activity to be a Valedictorian in this school. Now the thing is I had no idea Alice did anything else. But apparently, she did and now she is being rewarded. What's weird is academically Lee is just after Alice followed by Jeff and then me, at the fourth place. Not that I wanted to be at the top, but I have no idea how I reached the top five. I mean I was sure I floated through senior year. I guess I didn't.