Splicing of Changes

Chapter 65

I am finally in my prom dress. Should I be simply excited or nervous? I have yet to get a hold of just which emotion to feel.

After my talk with Tori, and only Tori, I feel nice. Relaxed, myself, and definitely less afraid. Although not all of my fears have been vanquished but it's still far better than what I was feeling before. And talking to Tori did just that, helped me figure out which fear is my own and which are just something I have pulled from some imaginary direction. I mean I know Lee. I have known her for about two years now, and that's saying something. Granted, I always thought we were each other's best friend, but that still does not erase the fact that Lee is indeed my best friend.

As much as I love Liz, this time I needed just my elder sister. And only her. I might sound selfish, so be it. I do not recall having a heart to heart with Tori ever. Well, before I was too young to have a heart to heart. And now, well now I was too closed off, too much stuck in my past to open up. And let Tori in fully. It took so much time for me to be so relaxed with Tori that the only time we had a heart to heart is the day of my senior prom. It is ironic, isn't it? Well, I think life for me is ironic, so there is that. Liz did not even interrupt us. It's like she knew we needed to bond. Just us sisters. After all I will be 18 soon and even if I am not going to college this year, I will soon. Liz knew that we both needed it, because as unaware I am of Tori's feelings, I did not notice that she needed to talk to me too. Not just talk, as an elder. But a sisterly heart to heart, free of any form of judgement, only teasing allowed if any. And Tori did tease. Weirdly, I welcomed it just as much as she enjoyed teasing me.

Both Tori and Liz knows my decision to not go to college this year. They have yet to question me about it. I think they understand why I said, I need time. I need time to spend with just my sisters both Tori and Liz. And the kids. I need time to find myself again or be confident to just be myself again. After all it is not easy for me. And I certainly do not need a huge change yet again right after a big change. Even though it has been almost two years since I shifted here, things from my past have followed me. From my parents' accident being ruled out as murder to my ex-boyfriend being guilty of that crime as well as that heinous act along with the fact that he shot me. I mean weird incidents have followed me here, but I think I have finally got rid of my past. They are finally in the past and should stay there. I guess both Tori and Liz realized I need time to center myself more than finding myself.

Lee and her family meaning her dad and her brother, Topher are coming here. Topher somehow got here for our prom. Specifically, to see his sister go to her senior prom. I guess it is a milestone and Topher seems to make a big deal out of it. At first, we were supposed to go to Lee's house to click pictures and everything. Then Topher came and surprised the dad-daughter pair, thus putting our plan to shambles in just one sentence. 'Are you crazy to not go to their mansion to click pics?' One sentence. And here we are. Tori and Liz are excited to see us, and I am sure they will click more than hundred pictures. I am just afraid for my eyesight. After all those flashes won't help.

Lee arrives along with her dad and Topher, who were standing in the doorway hiding Lee behind them. It was silly but cute. And Lee's dress is breathtaking. A silver and sea green gown which she is pulling off rather nicely. Not that I ever doubted it, but then again Lee never wears things like this. Thus, my jaw open reaction. Also, I do not think I have ever seen Lee wear anything but her shorts, and t-shirt. Sometimes with a hoodie when it is cold. That's all. The times she dressed nice as far as I can recall, they included her wearing full dress pants and a button up. I just can't remember seeing Lee in a dress, especially like the one she is wearing now. Not that, that is a bad look. But this is just different and maybe that is why I am captivated. Not just by her dress, and how it hugs her body at all the right places, but also how it brings out her eyes. Her forest green fiery eyes are my favorite. Lee has also styled her hair differently, namely pulled it in a messy bun with two dangling strips. They frame her face perfectly. And now I feel I didn't put in much effort.