Hamilton Oneshots

ive yet to write this // ??????? searens ???????

John sipped his beer while his friends went around the square. He laughed at jokes he could hear and leaned into the bench, using his arms to take up a lot of space. He turned his head over the edge and saw someone setting up a soapbox. Literally, John could see it was a Pears company box.

This person wasn't going to just scream his opinion without an audience, especially since he was dressed as if he was supposed to lead Mass.

"Hey guys, Jesus lover at 6'o clock," John said, still facing upside down. Alexander climbed on the bench, looking at the person.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! My name's Samuel Seabury, and I present Free Thoughts on the Proceedings of the Continental Congress," the person said, waving for an audience.

"This has to be good," Alexander said, hopping over the bench and starting to walk over to the person. Burr held him back, telling him to leave the person alone. Lafayette bumped John with his shoulder.

"Distract Mr... how you say, uh, buzzkill," he said, gesturing at Burr.

"My honor," John said, hearing all the anti-revolution shit the person was spewing. He waved Burr over. Burr sighed and took his eye off of Alexander. This gave Alexander enough time to step up to the stranger. However, it didn't take Burr long to notice it.

"I don't get paid enough to babysit you guys," he muttered.

"YOU GET PAID TO HANG OUT WITH US?! BEST JOB EVER, RIGHT??" Lafayette said.

"I don't get paid, that's the issue," Burr said.

"Issue or virtue? We are very great people," Lafayette said.

"Laf, buddy, great is already a superlative, so you don't need very," John said. Lafayette gave him a confused look as Burr went to handle the Alexander situation.

"But, everything can be very. I make very sense," Lafayette said. John laughed and smiled.

"Oh shit, Jesus lover is coming our way. Prepare to catch this guy if he swoons from my attractiveness," John said, rolling his shoulder. Lafayette laughed and rested his arm on John.

"In that case, prepare me for finding a man suitable for dating," he said, trying to get a few drops of beer out of his bottle.

"Oh, is that a challenge? We better find more beers and shake Burr," John said, walking into the square, fairly drunk and very, very stupidly gay. The man from the soapbox blew by in an angry mutter with the addition of "drunkards, repent while you can.".

"Oh, sir, I would repent around you any day of the week, just give me an address and an early enough knocker-up," John said, relaxing his body towards the man. The man visibly stiffened and turned around.

"It's offered after Mass on the Sabbath if you are truly... interested," he said. The man glanced John up and down and grimaced.

"Hey, dude, I know I'm not the sexiest man alive, but I am damned hot," John said, waving at his body. Lafayette wrapped his arms around John, effectively scaring the latter.

"No swooning yet? Aw, I was hoping to marry someone I'd forget tomorrow," Lafayette teased.

"P-pardon me? HOMOSEXUALS?! YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO BEG THE LORD FOR MERCY!" the man screamed while waving his papers.

"What? Why would Lafayette want to marry me? You heard the man, he wants to marry someone he'll forget and I'm too hot to be forgotten baby," John said, adding a sightly awkward wink.

"That is- You two are unacceptable to be in public and on the Lord's green Earth," the man said, turning bright red.

"Mmm, whatever you say, darling. Whatever you say," John said. The man scoffed loudly and stomped off.