Sad Alex, RIP // Lams ?

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"I cannot believe this!" Alexander exclaimed, grabbing his son by his face.

"Dad, I cannot believe y-" Philip started.

"MY SON IS STRAIGHT! I THOUGHT WE RAISED YOU PROPERLY!" Alexander exclaimed, dramatically flopping onto his couch.

"You are aware that you needed to do straight sex so I could exist," Philip pointed out.

"One, I'm bisexual. Two, you could very easily be adopted," Alexander said, brushing himself off.

"Dad, I look just like you, I can't be adopted. Besides, shouldn't you be with Uncle John by now?" Philip said.

"Not till you get to class!" John called out.

"Jackie, wait, I think I'm almost done getting him outta the hetero phase," Alexander called back.

"Baby, let him get to school, we don't need to get a phone call about why he's late," John said.

"Ugh fine, but you better not become one of those heterosexuals that just... makes out every possible second and fuck in every public bathroom," Alexander said.

"WHAT?! NO! EW, DAD, THEO'S MY GIRLFRIEND AND THAT'S IT!" Philip said with a dark blush.

"Alright, we support you if you're straight and have girlfriends," Alexander said, pushing his son towards the door.

"I feel like there's a subtle lesson not made for me here," Philip muttered.

"Maybe, I don't know, I just know I need you to get to school," Alexander said. A car honked from outside. Theodosia waved from her window.

"See? Theo's other dad, Mr. Lee is actually cool," Philip said, leaving just before John could process what he said.

"He's grounded when he gets home, Charles Lee is not cooler than me," John said, throwing his hands into the air.

( i tried , okay ? )

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