𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬, jenzie.

> love you

totally didn't publish this the first time and forgot to change the name

she couldn't handle it anymore. it was devastating. every second she spent thinking about him, the more her heart ached for his touch and comforting words. she had loved him with her whole heart and hadn't spared a second thought on his loyalty.

her heart had shattered upon hearing the rumour that had drifted among the students had become true. she couldn't bring herself up to even confront him and spit harsh words out. she was awfully betrayed and she couldnt bare it.

she lay in her bead, staring dully into the abyss. she had no more hope in her life, he had made things enjoyable but seeing him break her more than any boy could have was a pain she couldn't understand.she wanted to run up to him and hug him, tell him everything would be okay and she would date him again.

but he cheated on her.

he cheated on her with her best friend.

it wasn't a single stab but several darts aimed at her fragile heart. she couldnt' begin to describe how she felt because she wanted him back but she couldn't trust him again. she was naive and forgave almost everyone- but he swore to her that he wouldn't do something like this. she had ignored every word from anyone about her taste in man, claiming that johnny wouldn't do something like that. she defended him to everyone but it attacked her.

she had cried for days straight and didn't leave her room. she locked the door and stared at her wall for hours, thinking about him. she would be distracted for a second, but everything lead her back to him.

she couldn't cry anymore. even if she wanted too.she didn't have enough energy in her to produce more tears.

she just wanted him back.

her phone had been exploding with texts from two people. two people she trusted her life with but had continued to betray her. it was all please of forgiveness but she didn't know who to forgive either of them.

he was her boyfriend and she was her best friend.

she hadn't expected this.

kenzie sniffled as she stood up. she rubbed her eyes slightly and pulled on a hoodie. she threaded her fingers through her hair and yanked the hoodie over. her eyes were bloodshot from crying and her face was pale. she had bags under her eyes and her hair was messy. she looked outside and sighed as she saw the rain bang against her window. she pushed the glass open and threw her leg over it. what she was doing was wrong. she knew it was wrong but her eagerness to forgive him and go back to life before was killing her.

the rain thundered above her. the day had been anything but pleasant but knowing that the sky was also as angry and sad as her made her feel better.the sky was dark and grey, a beam of lighting snapping now and again. the rumble from the thunder reminded her of her stomach, which hadnt had food in a while.

(hAH MY ENGLISH TEACHER SHOULD BE PROUD IM USING PATHETIC FALLACY)

she jumped onto the grass and ducked, avoiding a beam of light to shine on her. she didn't want her mum or sister to know what she was doing, especially in this weather. they knew what had happened and had given her her space. the only time she had spoken to her sister was begging her to not cut johnny's head off.she had given up after kenzie had locked her in her room.

she walked on the pavement towards his house. the path was engraved in her mind, she knew it like the back of her hand. it wasn't far but the rain didn't make the journey easy. no one was out, it was lonely and the only sound heard despite the rain was her feet against the puddles of water. her shoes were soaked through but she hadn't bothered about it. the cold water infected her and slid through her veins, threatening to freeze her from the outside. but she wasn't concentrating on it. the cold air around her made the feeling normal.