𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬, jenzie.

+what if

this is unedited 🥲sorry but enjoy it :)

'this song is for a special girl who lately hasn't been feeling herself'

'this song is about... our relationship,'

'friends being more than friends I guess?'

'so without a further delay, this is for you bub,'

my eyes glanced through the crowd looking for that girl. to see who john picked over me. it stung, yea a lot but well.

then that's when I realised everybody's eyes were glued on me. i furrowed my eyebrows looking at each and everyone of the students that had arrived for prom night.

all the girls dressed in plaited dresses and glimmering corsets.

all the boys dressed in plain suits with a beige tie.

who was this girl?
i ignored everyone's stares at first, looking first at a blonde who was too busy with her phone to take notice of the surrounding.

emily skinner
your perfect girl.
glowing eyes, gorgeous blonde locks and a twisted yet charming smile.

i scanned her up and down looking, comparing myself to her.

i wasn't narcissistic, i just wanted to know why and who was the other girl that johnny had picked. I wanted to know who he picked over me and what I didn't give him.

if johnny was into blonde girls than I could easily dye my hair a perfect blonde in the snap of my fingers.

but it couldn't be her, could it?

she looked up at me and stared at me for a mili-second before she peered at something to her left.

I followed her stare and watched it land on a red haired girl.

nadia turner
the red haired beauty, with perfect freckles scattered amongst her face and gorgeous glimmering eyes.

if he was into freckled girls, I will very much add freckles to my make up routine.

I loved him, all I wanted was his love back.

I didn't know how long I was going to wait for it or if I will ever stop but I wanted it, needed it almost as if it was a necessity in life. just like food, water and the process of excreting.

she glanced up at me with a hopeful face.

I frowned, why wasn't she screaming with delight?
why wasn't she squealing with glee because johnny wrote a song for her.

maybe because she wasn't this mysterious girl.

I scanned the crowd for anyone that johnny had talked to before. it was all girls at first, then I started glaring at the males.

suddenly a voice in my head snapped.

'what in the world do you think you are doing?'
'planning to change yourself just for a stupid boy who will never love you the way you do,'

the words echoed, instead of it ascending into a lower tone it grew louder every single time.

'never,' it echoed.
'never love,'
'never love you,'
'never love you the way,'
'never love you the way you do,'

I pressed my eyes shut the words stopped.

silence. finally.

that's when I realised it was partly right.

why was I here selling my arm and leg for a guy who didn't want to be more than friends?

screw him if he doesn't want me then because I'm worth it and I know it.