𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗 | bucky barnes

3: Questions

Cat bit her lip as she thought of something else to say.  Or maybe she was waiting for Bucky to answer.

"It's not dangerous," she said, referring to the headline.  "Not usually.  But when I have a spasm like that, I can't control it.  Usually, I'm alone when it happens.  But I could've hurt someone then.  I almost did."

"I —" started Bucky.  He didn't even know what to ask first.  "How did you — when did —" He sighed, not knowing what to say.

"You have questions," said Cat.  She looked down a second, then at Bucky.  "Come with me.  We can't talk too much about this here."

Cat crossed the street, and Bucky followed.  She went down the sidewalk near an alley between two buildings.  It was wide but dark. 

"Don't want to be caught," she turned around and said. She stopped walking once she was sure people couldn't see them from the outside. 

"Now we can talk," she said.  "No one ever really comes in here."

Bucky took a breath.  "How did you even —  how did you get them?"

Cat looked at her hands.  "My dad was a scientist.  A drunk scientist, the worst kind.  You can safely assume he didn't really care what happened to me.  One day, he gave something to me.  More forced it on me, actually.  I think I passed out from whatever it was.  But when I woke up, I immediately had one of those spasms.  That's all I know."

"And... what happened to your mom?"

"Died in childbirth.  Another reason my dad didn't care for me.  Once he thought I was too much for him, he was gone.  I was ten.  I don't know where he is now." Cat took another breath.  "I don't think I really care."

Bucky looked down.  No one ever answered his questions before.  And if they did, it was an answer that he'd heard before.  Something he already knew.

"Why are you telling me this?" he said, looking back up at her. 

"I guess..." Cat paused.  "...because you're the first person that's ever really asked.  Besides, you just have a face I can trust, I guess."

Bucky would never have said that.  "What do your, um, powers do, anyway?" 

"See, that, I've figured out.  They can manipulate molecules in the air."

Bucky looked confused.

"It's almost like telekinesis, but it isn't."  Cat looked at her hand again.  "I push and pull the molecules in the air like they're part of my arm."

She pushed forward slightly with her hand toward Bucky, and he felt a small wind in his face.  Cat smiled.

"You did that?" he asked.

Catarina nodded.  "And it's not just tiny breezes."  Bucky watched as Cat's hand looked as if it were grabbing something, but nothing was there. She raised her hand while looking down at the street.  Cat made a grabbing motion, then lifted her hand, as if she were holding something.  An empty soda bottle seemed to lift itself off the ground.  When she put her hand back down and made a letting go motion, the bottle was back on the concrete, a foot away from its original spot. 

Bucky watched in amazement, then looked up at Cat.  She smiled.

"You're the first person I've ever really shown this to," she said. "Like, as not a person who wants to study me."

"Ever?" Bucky asked.  He didn't want to ask her if she had friends.  He didn't really know if that was rude.

"Yeah. I mean, anyone else I've told, anyone I've tried to be friends with, they all were weird about it, then I never saw them again. I don't really know why I kept trying."

Bucky didn't really know what to say.  He didn't think he wasn't good at that sort of thing.

"Guess I wasn't who you thought I was, huh?" Cat said with a smile.

No one ever is. 

A face she could trust.  That's what she had said.   Bucky definitely would not have said that.  Why did she tell him, of all people, her one secret?  But she had said it herself — Bucky was the only person she'd ever met who had actually listened.

Listening was something Bucky was good at.  He didn't think he should say much.  He didn't want to.  But maybe Catarina was changing his mind.

"No," he said, answering her question.  "I guess not."

"I guess this means we're friends, then."

"A week ago, I wouldn't have even said I knew you," replied Bucky.  "Yeah, I guess we are friends."

There was an awkward silence. 

"Well, you can't go back out there," said Bucky.  "What are you gonna do now?"

Cat shrugged.  "I guess I'll go back to my apartment," she said.  "If you could even call it that. Soon, it'll just be apart.  The place is disintegrating."

Bucky smiled slightly.

The both of them looked each other in the eye. 

"Thank you, Bucky," she said, reaching out her hand so he could shake it. 

"I'll see you, Cat," he said, shaking it. 

They both walked out of the wide alley and went their separate ways.

——— ✪ ⍟ ✪———

Friends.  They were friends.  Should Bucky even be allowed to have friends?

He'd done so many bad things.  Too many horrible things.  Things he didn't want to remember. 

He almost wanted to tell her.  She had told him her secret.  But she thought he was just a person.  But he wasn't.  There was more to him, things he probably didn't want other people to know.

But did he want her to know?

He thought it over. All night. He could barely sleep knowing the fact that she was his friend, she trusted him, and she still didn't know who he was. What he had done.

Bucky Barnes didn't think he really deserved a friend. But he had said it himself: he and Cat were friends. And a friend was something he needed. Even if he didn't want to say it, he knew it.

He had to tell her sometime. Otherwise, she'd just find out. That would be worse.

But how would Cat react? What would she say? 

Bucky didn't imagine she'd take it well at all.

But what if she did? She resonated with him, after all.  They both had pasts.  Both had secrets.  Things they didn't want people to know.  Maybe she'd understand.

Bucky didn't want to hurt people anymore.

a.n:

this is one of my favorite chapters so far bc it's so soft and also poor traumatized bucky my baby

cat ends up finding out somehow, but do you think bucky's going to tell her?

also tell me what you think of FOUND so far! I'd love to know :)

don't forget to vote!

molly