Wishful

Maknae Line

Everyone was pretty subdued on the way back from the shoot. Looking at the empty seat that had been occupied by Jin on our way to the shoot, I couldn't help feeling how incomplete our soulmate group was without him! I felt like someone had amputated one of my limbs. I couldn't help missing him.

Once home, the feeling didn't go away when I realized that Jin hadn't come home! I was worried about him and hoped he was OK?

"Jin texted me to let me know that he's gone to spend the night at the dorm." Namjoon informed me, after sensing my worry.

"You guys still have a dorm?" I asked in surprise. I didn't see a reason for them to still have a dorm when they had this fabulous mansion?

"We kept the dorm because it's more centrally located and closer to the Big Hit office than here. It's better to stay there when we have early call times,, so we can get more sleep. We also use it for the rare occasions, when one of us needs some alone time." Namjoon tells me.

It's evident, Jin went there for some alone time and to get far away from me! I feel bad for driving him from his the rest of his soulmates and his own home! I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes.

"Hey! None of that!" Namjoon admonished, before gathering me securely into his arms in a comforting hug.

Resting my head against his chest, I breathed in the scent of his cologne - doing my best not to cry. Why have I become such an emotional wreck during this shift? I'm not normally so emotionally needy. I swear that if this were some fanfiction, I'd be yelling at myself to get over Jin!

Leaning back to meet Namjoon's intense gaze, I resolved once again to focus on the present moment!  I smile at Namjoon knowing that it's not entirely genuine, but I'm hoping I can fake my way to happiness.

Namjoon being highly intelligent and insightful, doesn't try to force me to give more than I'm ready to give. He just leans down and bestows a tender kiss on my lips, making me soft from his feelings of love and acceptance!

This time when I smile at him - it is entirely genuine!

Namjoon sensing my honest feelings, gives me a smile back that reveals his cute dimples. "Come on - let's go to dinner."  Taking my hand in his, he leads me to the dining room for dinner.

Joining everyone else at the dining table, the atmosphere is strangely subdued.  Normally, I find the guys to be loud and chaotic at meal times.  This time there isn't any joking or fighting over food.  Instead, they are quietly eating.  I guess I'm not the only one missing Jin's presence?

I try to engage the guys in conversation.  After we've all had a few glasses of wine between courses, I notice that their mood starts to lift, returning more to their normal baseline, as they start to chat amongst  themselves and with me.

I'm surprised to be included in a conversation Yoongi and Hoseok are having.  Up till now, with the exception of Namjoon - I've had very little interactions with the Hyung line. They seem to be a lot more interactive with me without Jin's presence!  Appearing to be genuinely interested in getting to know me better - they ask questions about my life and happily answer my questions about theirs.  It was nice to finally learn more about Yoongi and Hoseok. They're almost each other's polar opposite, but it becomes apparent that they have a close bond.

Spending time chatting with them, I learned something insightful about our soulmate group. I realized that each of us were paired into subunits. Jin had Namjoon, Yoongi had Hoseok, Jimin had Jungkook, and I had Taehyung.  These pairings didn't mean we didn't love the rest of our soulmates less, it made it possible that is such a large group, each of us had the opportunity to experience deep connection and intimacy.