The worst part of this quarantine was the social isolation. Briefly, I had escaped it's clutches through meditation. Back in my bubble of solitude for the past week, the isolation was actually a gnawing physical pain.
Everyday was Groundhogs Day. All I did was wake up, maybe shower or brush my teeth, work on project/Zoom meeting, Netflix/Drink, go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
I was beginning to go numb again!
I was scared. Scared that the darkness was creeping in again. The hopelessness that made me forget the joys in life. I was deep in the dark valleys of life, forgetting that it was possible to climb the mountains and see the sun again.
I hadn't opened the meditation app once, scared about the reality I might find myself in. I felt like a wuss, but being Asher had been almost a little too much for my psyche to take.
But, I knew in my heart that if I didn't do something different that I would succumb to those dark whispers that were haunting me. I was literally going to have to claw my way out to escape their clutches.
So I got up early one morning, showered, dressed, threw on a mask and stepped outside my house for the first time in a month. As I walked outside my apartment for the first time, the sounds of traffic and the sun shining down on me felt strange. I felt like I had somehow developed agoraphobia.
With baby steps, I found myself walking towards the neighborhood park, desperately needing a glimpse of nature to ground myself. Sitting alone on a park bench, I sat watching the trees wave in the wind. The sun beating down on my skin and warming my soul. I saw the birds and I was envious of their ability to fly freely wherever they wanted.
I wanted that desperately!
It was right then and there that I finally realized the gift that I had been given through the meditation app. Freedom!
I didn't have to stay in my fortress of solitude - I too could fly free!
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I just want to say that if anyone reading this is suffering from depression or contemplating harming themselves - please, please, please ASK for help!
You matter and you are loved even if you don't feel like it!!!!
I'm sorry #NS that you felt alone with your pain! You definitely were loved and will be missed!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
Learn more
800-273-8255
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
Wishful
RomansaLife was so boring with social distancing. Looking for anything to break the monotony of this new normal...my life radically "shifted" when I stumbled upon a new meditation app! *Now Under Revision 🚨Warning contains BTS and smut🔥. Highest Rankin...
