You Give Love A Bad Name //JENLISA

30| If You Want Love

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"If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain." - NF

(if you want love, you'll have to go through the pain)

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                         JENNIE
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It was two weeks of extremely intense publicity. Jackson's schedule put me on major American radio stations, at press conferences with other rising artists, and at RCA's Instagram lives that, as the days went by, more people showed up to watch.

It was crazy. A good madness, which made my stomach crawl. My own Instagram profile leveraged the number of followers so fast that it took me a few days to digest and understand that it would be like that from now on.

People I've never seen in my life were filling my old photos with comments, and so were they on YouTube, where the clip was posted. Sometimes | spent hours skimming through the comments, reading other people's opinions about my work.

That inspired me. Sometimes it was three in the morning and, instead of sleeping to look presentable the next day - in an upcoming interview or live -, | spent the night writing new songs, trying to express with words all the feelings that hit me in a general chaos at the beginning of career. q

| was living a dream, and | wanted people to get a sense of the intensity of it when those songs came true.

On my last day in New York, SOLO had already had seven million views on YouTube and | garnered about two million followers on Instagram, and thousands more came to increase the number as the days went by.

| was floating, my mind crazed with happiness that everything had gone perfectly well. And for the dozens of promotional jobs in the following month, such as interviews on TV channels and a fucking commercial for a shampoo brand that would have my background music and me as a model. | was daydreaming!

The song composed by Sia and sung by me was also released, and the promotion above was so good that in less than 24hrs the composition reached five hundred thousand views. Sia herself showed up on launch day to meet me and say hello.

It was dream after dream come true, and at one point | felt so good that nothing, absolutely nothing could take away my smile.

Just one little thing | needed to sort out. My relationship with Lisa.

| was still confused, but that magical period in New York cleared my thoughts a little more and | already felt more mature about my whole situation with her to finally make a decision.

First of all, though, | wanted to know what Jisoo had to say about the whole thing.

So the same day | returned to LA, | called her and asked if we could talk. Jisoo said she was taking care of backlogs at S&D, so she couldn't leave the club, but invited me to stop by. When she said that Lisa was busy with other matters and that the chances of her showing up there were zero, | readily agreed to meet her.

| intended to speak with Lalisa, but only after | had a relentless opinion formulated on everything.

| was tired from the hectic two weeks, but I felt like | could only rest after that conversation.

So | spent only an hour at the loft after arriving in LA and, after a quick shower, | drove to the club.

It was still late, but the line in front of the building was already huge. The place was extremely busy.