You Give Love A Bad Name //JENLISA

33| From This Moment On

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"From this moment as long as I live I will love you, I Promise you this." - Shania Twain

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                           JENNIE
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There are moments in life that, just one look, and you know it's too much for you. You know that going forward instead of backing down is going to take a chunk out of you.

That's what | felt with my eyes glued to Lisa's face, which was deathly pale, completely tear-stained, with swollen and heavy eyelids, frowning forehead and terribly red eyes, with purple hues on the
sides. But the pain that twisted her features... seeing that pain was the worst part.

I felt my heart drop from my chest and break into a million shards across the floor of that room, joining the shards of the liquor bottles she had burst inside. | felt the words die in my mouth and a huge, terrible lump take root in my throat, almost stopping me from breathing.

I knew that the moment I took a step forward, there was no going back. Something would be taken from me and it was inevitable.

But I didn't really care when I walked up to her. My girl was in bad shape, and | just wanted it to stop. I just wanted her to stop crying, to smile, to be the usual Lisa. And if it was necessary to take a piece of me to plug her cracks, then I was more than willing to do it.

| hugged her tight, feeling the hot tears trickle down my cheeks, and felt Lisa's body slump against mine. She cried even harder, cried violently. | felt her body tremble under my arms. | felt her hands grip my shirt from behind, holding on as tightly as if that was all there was between her and the pain consuming her inside.

I slid my hands gently down her feverish back, trying to calm the tremors that shook her thin body so brutally.

Her face was buried in my shoulder and she was crying nonstop there. Her sobs filted the room, taking root in the walls and furniture. And me. My crying was silent, but it hurt. Just seeing her in that brutal state hurt. And it hurt really bad.

"I..I..I-killed..." She sobbed muffled against me, her voice wet and slurred, almost impossible to understand.

- M-killed m-my m-mother...

| frowned, trying very hard to understand his completely choked and broken words.

-My m-mother, Je-jennie...

I tried to swallow that knot that kept my words from coming out over and over, but it felt impossible. Every effort made it hurt, and Lisa's every sob added to the pain.

| pulled her tighter against me, pressing her trembling body completely into mine, and moved my hands to the back of her neck, running my nail gently through the fine strands of her hair.

Lisa's crying rose even more in my shoulder, and her hands on my shirt tightened harder than they already were.

Closing my eyes tightly, | concentrated my breathing and forced the lump in my throat to descend. It went down tearing and aching, but it went down. Able to speak again, | whispered:

-I'm here with you, okay? You'll be fine, baby. | promise.

"M-my m-mother..." she sobbed in a broken, tearful way, seeming not to have heard me.

My heart was in pieces. Extremely sharp shards that tore me from the inside. And the way she spoke, the way she expressed her pain, it killed me. It killed me from the inside out, tearing away what kept me upright. | was about to collapse, but | needed to be strong for her. | knew I needed it. Then I took a breath.