Losing All But The Fight. (complete) updated.

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Body humming I tried to catch my breath, room still spinning. A smile played on my lips and Josh laughed against my stomach where he had been leaving a trail of kisses. My gin grew. I wasn't ashamed.

Josh gave me a devilish smirk and crawled up the bed to lay with me. "Definitely hooked." He kissed me and pulled away. His expression changed and he searched my eyes. My smile faded. "I think you could drag me all over hell and I'd be happy. You're ok though?"

I smiled again and snuggled in closer. Letting my fingers dance across the stubble on his chin, I brought my eyes up so our noses were touching. I wasn't a virgin but never before had I let someone touch me the way I granted Josh the freedom to. "Josh," I whispered his name with a soft smile. He has no idea what he does to me, how if he put his mind to it he could be my undoing. "I'm just fine." I should have known the moment I saw his face.

Kissing him, I tugged his lip with my teeth gently. Loving the perfect pressure of his hands being pushed up my rib cage. He hummed his delight. Wrapping my leg around him to pull my hips in closer, his hands dropped down my back making me sigh. Oh, god. I pulled away to look at Josh's satisfied face.

I liked this expression. Trailing my finger across his chest I let my eyes follow. Smiling when he let a long breath out, relaxing. I could feel his heartbeat begin to slow with my own. I didn't need clothes, just this.

"That feels unbelievably good, Kitten." He told me.

"I agree." Oh if he only knew. I couldn't even do justice with an attempt to describe how incredible it felt to only be thinking about the texture of the hair on his chest. The numbing tingle through my fingers from my gentle assault. If only to feel this, like enjoying the sensation of being lost, if only for a little while.

The sound of bubbles floated from my ears, my hair drifting around me. Sinking into the heat of the water I let myself fallow the rhythm of spray coming from the tubs faucet to share the space below the surface.

Josh stepped down the hall to shower himself and get ready for the day. Vance sat on the bed with coffee reading the paper. Music floated in from the computer on the desk.

Thankfully Josh is a very discrete man. It left nothing to make things awkward and even though I know Vance wouldn't care, I didn't know exactly what this was yet. Whatever it was between Josh and I, I wanted to keep to myself.

Its scary how good it feels for him to touch me. I've never felt anything like it. Whatever it was with him was completely fascinating and couldn't be good for my health. I don't think it matters. If I might die tomorrow at least I could take the free feeling I felt last night with me.

Lightly stepping out of the tub I wrapped a towel around my body and began drying my damp curls. With a life time of scars still visible I promised myself to protect them all from being thrown as sacrifices in front of the train wreck of a life I was about to derail.

After getting dressed I stepped out to find Vance still on the bed. "Sorry about that." I apologized for Vance having to sit and wait. I tried to make it semi quick. Turns out I just needed the time. "You both don't have to be attached to my hip. I just don't like the idea of taking a bath with so many people in the house." Old habits die hard I guess. The fact that you actually had to be naked to shower was a vulnerability I hadn't been comfortable with in a long time. I think it was the not knowing what was outside the door that screwed with me. With the recent arrival of the testosterone bus some of my old fears swam to close to the surface.