Take My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Forty-four

Chapter Forty-four

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He stood in the doorway, looking down nervously as he played with his fingers.

"You can come in," Ashton laughed as he began taking groceries the pair had just purchased out of the bags and placing them into cupboards. The cupboards had no set purpose yet. They hadn't been designated certain foods. Ashton thought it would be better for Luke to do that. He was more organised and it would make certain aspects of the flat feel like his. "This is your place, you have your own key!"

Luke bit his lip and looked behind him at the adjacent flat, the door securely closed. Luke stepped in and made his way over to the kitchen to try and offer some assistance. Ashton smiled and gently kissed Luke's lips. He placed two cans of beans in Luke's hands and suggested,"Do you want to find a place for all of this and I'll unpack some other stuff?

He nodded and ran his fingers over the cold tin. The packaging was coming loose and he resisted the urge to peel it off. He watched Ashton leave the small area then opened up all the cupboards to peer inside, to see what he was working with and if Ashton had already created chaos.

"Luke!" Ashton called from the living area where he was about to put some cushion on the sofa. "You left the door open!"

Luke gulped and tried to find his voice. "Please can we leave it open?" It took a while for Ashton to reply and Luke grew anxious, wondering if he had already closed and locked the door. He hadn't heard it close, but he didn't know what that sounded like yet. He would have to learn hundreds of new noises. He placed the tins back on the counter and peered into the living area.

He watched Ashton stare at the wooden floor below him, just in front of the door. Ashton looked up when he saw movement and smiled sadly. "Of course," he agreed. "Just close it when you're ready." Ashton didn't know what upset him more. The fact that Luke was scared by a closed door, or that he might not want to be trapped in a room with him. To lighten the mood Ashton added, "We'll have to close it when we test out this sofa though. The bed's out of view, but the whole flat can get a free screening here!"

Luke chuckled and looked down bashfully. "Maybe we could close it now?" he suggested.

"Now?" Ashton asked, his eyebrows raising curiously. "I just put these cushions on, I'd have to take them off again—"

"You didn't put them on very well anyway," Luke responded, stepping out of the kitchen and revealing himself fully. Ashton couldn't help but grin. He took a couple of steps backwards and placed his hand on the door handle, he looked back at Luke who nodded. Gradually Ashton closed the door, it clicking shut. Luke didn't take note of the sound, his body was soaring with too many emotions to concentrate.

He then went over to the sofa and took one pillow off at a time, dramatically dropping each one on the floor. Ashton let himself fall on the sofa and closed his eyes, waiting. It was long until he felt another body climb on his. A pair of arms wrap around him and squeeze him tightly. Ashton hummed with content and moved his arms so one was resting on Luke's bum, the other just below his neck. Luke shifted his body so he was able to rest his head on Ashton's chest, listening to the thudding of his heart.

"Shall we lay like this for a while," Ashton suggested. He felt Luke's head move against his chest. He opened his eyes to see what gesture he was making. Luke was nodding. Ashton figured that sex wasn't at the top of Luke's agenda right now. It never was. He was good at flirting and creating innuendos; but by the time they got into bed, they always just lay together. Ashton didn't mind. This was the first time in a couple of weeks he could be properly intimate with his boyfriend. There was only so much you could do in a public hospital.

Ashton rubbed Luke's back gently, staring at his blonde curls that tickled his chest. "Do you like it here?" he asked. It was the first time Luke had seen the flat besides pictures. He now understood the scale of the place. Ashton liked it, he liked how much space there was. There was room for Luke to cry without Ashton hearing and vice versa. Ashton wanted there to be space for both their emotions to exist without affecting one another.

"I think so," Luke whispered. He'd only seen the kitchen and the living area, but for him, a flat was a flat. If he was happy somewhere it didn't matter what it looked like. It was about how he felt and who he was with. Luke thought he could be happy anywhere with Ashton provided they were on good terms.

"You can decide where everything goes, I think that would help you. You know I don't care much for the organisation. So tell me what to do and I'll do it," Ashton rambled.

"Okay," Luke agreed. "Are there any rules?"

"Rules? No— I don't think so, we'll establish what we can and can't do as we live together, won't we? Do you have any?" Ashton asked, his voice becoming a bit shaky. They had established on the rule before they arrived, that Aaron was never to enter the flat. His name or him in person. If they wanted to talk about him it had to be elsewhere. Both knew it was difficult to keep him out of their thoughts, he had won at being obtrusive. Ashton couldn't help but wonder what rules Luke used to live by.

"No. I just don't want to do things that I don't want to do," Luke mumbled, bringing his numb arms from under Ashton's body and resting them on his chest, gently picking at his t-shirt.

"Like what?" Ashton asked, keeping his voice neutral.

"I don't know. Like if I don't want to watch a film with you. I don't like films— I don't want some set rigid date every night—"

"Date every night? Who has time for that? Did—" Ashton cut himself off. It was proving harder than he thought it would be to keep his name out of the room. "Most nights I would fall asleep on the sofa while Stella did her thing, Luke. When people live together who love each other they don't spend every moment together. It usually becomes hard to find time to be together. That's why there are these rare dates that happen once a month!"

Luke smiled into Ashton's chest. He liked that idea. He liked it even more because it seemed to be the norm. "That sounds good," he agreed. "We can do that!"

"Any more rules you don't want to have?" Ashton checked, wanting to debunk all the rules that Luke had once had ascribed to his relationship. Luke had thought of many but after what Ashton had just said he realised that Ashton wasn't going to think about them. That wasn't how he thought. He didn't have to tell him to not be like Aaron because he wasn't. There were similarities of course, but Luke now realised that in a normal situation where he wasn't under pressure, Ashton wasn't a bad person. He had been hurt by all this as well, in some ways Luke realised that he may have unintentionally hurt him.

Luke lifted his head and stared at Ashton. His eyes were closed again, but Luke saw the tear stains on his cheeks. Luke reached over and kissed Ashton's forehead, his lips lingering on the skin for a moment. Ashton didn't open his eyes, he scrunched them up tighter. His chest ached. "It's okay," Luke whispered. "You can cry. I understand."

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I'm really happy with this chapter and the next. I also changed part of the last chapter and I don't think you're ready!

I was supposed to spend the weekend revising and completing my final essay but instead I put together two beds! My mum got my brother a new bed but it didn't fit in his room so he swapped beds with me! So now I have a nice new actual normal bed for the few weeks a year I live at home! 

How is everyone? It was nice to know that you are all similar age to me!

Thank you so much for reading!