Take My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

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"Does Aaron know you're here?" Ashton asked as he closed the door behind Luke. Only an hour had passed since he sat in the cafe with his fiance and future child.

Luke shook his head and scanned the office calmly. He failed to take in the surroundings last time, too overcome by his own emotions. But this time he felt more in control. He noticed how there were still papers all over the desk, as if Ashton been rushing. "Do you not have any patients?"

"Not until four," Ashton confirmed, following Luke's gaze over to the cluttered desk. He quickly hurried over to the wooden surface and collected all the papers. He knew Luke wouldn't look at them, but he knew it was against his profession to let anyone see them. On top of that, he knew how Luke disliked clutter, he didn't want Luke to think that he was still the same chaotic boy from university. "You can sit you know!" the older man laughed nervously as he placed them in a draw to sort out and go through later.

Luke twisted his body from side to side and stayed where he was. "I don't know why I'm here Ashton. Why did you want me to come? It sounded urgent but nothing seems to be wrong?"

Pushing his hair back out his face and holding it tightly back for a moment, Ashton exhaled. He had felt as if he had been holding his breath ever since Stella had uttered the words. He didn't want to breath in case another second went by and they were still real in that next moment. He was upset and angry, and confused. He didn't think Stella wanted a child just yet, she hadn't discussed it with him. He couldn't understand her logic behind what had unfolded over the last couple of weeks. "Like you needed to see me the other week, I needed to see you. A favour returned," Ashton suggested nervously.

"Okay," the blonde man agreed, finally sitting on the edge of the sofa. "I can't stay long though, Aaron will be home soon."

Ashton nodded. The mention of the name sent his mind spirally back over all the reasons he hated the man. He found himself sitting beside Luke and staring at his face. A week had passed since Stella had told him about the bruise and the pair had the blunt conversation on the phone. The bruise was now fading, and concealer covered it easily. Ashton wondered who covered it. Did Aaron make Luke cover it so he didn't have to see his true nature or did Luke do it out of shame, not letting Aaron revel in his power?

"Did you mean what you said?" Ashton asked, clutching to hope that Luke was just angry and trying to justify his boyfriends actions. He wanted to take Luke's head in his hands, softly caress the wound and show his what true love actually meant.

"Sorry?" he asked looking up confused.

Ashton didn't know if he was trying to play dumb, to try and pretend that he didn't feel that way about himself. "About how you deserved what he did. I've never seen you so adamant about something before. You shouldn't have to justify something like that, ever Luke."

Luke quickly let his head drop, trying to hide the evidence that Ashton had already examined. "I don't know Ashton. I don't know."

"Can I ask why he did it? Do you know why he did it?" the older man asked, bringing one leg up to rest on the other. He felt his practise working into the conversation and he didn't know if it would work on someone who was not yet open to help.

Luke laughed to himself and shook his head and Ashton frowned. He didn't like how dismissive Luke was being. "I was sick on his foot!"

"And that triggered—"

"No, after that I refused to eat."

"Right—" Ashton began concerned, seeing a bigger picture emerging, but Luke didn't want that to develop.

"I was so overwhelmed with what we did. I've never done something like that before Ashton and I went against my morals," the younger man admitted, playing with the lose bits of skin around his fingers.

"Luke," Ashton sighed, leaning back against the sofa suddenly feeling guilty for placing such a burden on him. "I kissed you. It wasn't your fault."

"I know and I thought about that. I know it happens sometimes as an accident. We can't always control our actions. But I kept thinking and I'd do it again Ashton. I'd want you to kiss me again."

Slowly Ashton looked over at Luke once again but he still wasn't looking at him. He figured he was speaking figuratively and not prompting Ashton on. Ashton licked his lips and remained silent, trying to control the urge to act upon the words.

"Stella is so lovely Ashton. I don't know how I could that to her. And I couldn't let you do that to her either," Luke concluded.

"And Aaron? Could you do that to him?" the curly-haired man asked quickly, trying to push the idea of his fiance aside. The idea of her and the child she was bearing. The child he had only known about for an hour and was already trying to forget. But it would only become harder and harder to keep it from his mind and he knew he would have to learn to love it. He could do nothing but learn to love it.

"I don't know," Luke sighed. "Aaron's done it to me before. He said it was normal for a drunken kiss or something. But he's like that. We're not like that Ashton. We're supposed to be good people," he complained.

"You can't help your feelings Luke. And you shouldn't bottle them up. We know what that did to you last time!"

This time Luke looked up, slowly meeting Ashton's gaze. "You'd do it again?" he asked. "You think we should do it?"

Ashton laughed gently. "Someone's going to get hurt either way. I guess it depends on how selfish we want to be."

Luke nodded understandingly. He dropped his hands to his side and gradually began to move closer to Ashton, close enough that his hand was touching Ashton's thigh. "I need you Ashton."

Ashton gulped and scrunched his eyes shut, trying to shut Stella out of his head. She was one of the most interesting, but also selfless people he'd ever met. He knew he could never meet anyone like her again, but here he was throwing her away for someone he knew was going to cause him so much pain.

He found himself picking up Luke's hand and placing it on his thigh, Luke instantly letting his finger caress the clothed limb. Luke's head gradually made his way to Ashton shoulder, resting it just below his lips. "We don't have to hurt anyone. I'm good at keeping secrets."

-

I don't think I've ever written anything so controversial before! But then again it is just real life!

I've had such a shit couple of days but I think I'm okay now. And next week is reading week so I get somewhat of a break!

Thank you so much for reading!