Take My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

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"Science has not yet put a limit on how long one has to wait. What is that supposed to mean Luke? I can't wait much longer for you to finish this, we need to go soon," Aaron persisted, leaning over Luke's chair and staring at his screen.

Luke shrugged and looked up at his boyfriend, his eyes red and overwhelmed with fatigue. Luke wanted nothing more right now than to curl up on the sofa with his boyfriend and watch something that he didn't care about. He wanted to fall asleep in the warmth of Aaron's body. But, it was Saturday. The day of the meal with Ashton and his fiance.

The date had been stuck on his calendar for nearly weak taunting him. He didn't want to go out for a meal. He didn't want his boyfriend to ever be in the same room with Ashton again. He could see nothing good coming from this situation. But, Luke could also see no way out of it.

He let his eyes flicker over the quote one more time. He thought it was interesting. Science was supposed to provide answers for everything, but it couldn't provide an answer for something so simple as time. Whilst there was only two hours to go until the meal would be actualised, reaching it's potential; the feeling of nauseous and panic that Luke had been feeling all day didn't give any indication of when it would end. Luke saw no end to any of his sufferings and he wished he could just read a book, and there would lay an answer. It would tell him that in a couple of days he would be okay again, and everything would go back to normal. But it was just a hope. Mere hope.

"I'll get ready now," Luke muttered. Leaning up and placing a kiss on Aaron's lips.

"I laid something out for you. I thought it would look nice on you, but not too nice that you catch another man's eyes!" Aaron chuckled, running his finger over his boyfriend's cheek in adoration. Luke nodded submissively and thanked him.

Logging off his laptop, Luke left Aaron alone in the office and made his way to their bedroom, just a door away from the room he was previously in. Staring at the clothes that were placed neatly on the bed, Luke sighed in relief. The clothes were simple, nothing out of his comfort zone. Just the new black jeans and a smart white shirt. Luke didn't own many smart outfits, so there was little for Aaron to choose from anyway.

Pulling off his joggers and hoodie, and throwing them beside the folded clothes. He carefully picked up the shirt and placed his arms into each sleeve, buttoning up each button. Only leaving the top two undone for the time being. Aaron could choose if he wanted them to be buttoned too, in case he was being too revealing. Luke was impartial to the matter, it didn't bother him.

Then sliding the jeans up his slender legs with ease, he sighed as the stiff, new material reached his waist. He knew he should have tried them on, and didn't know why Aaron persisted against it. Heading to the wardrobe, Luke pulled out his belt and slipped it around the waist. Weaving it like a snake through each belt loop. As the buckled passed every man-made hole, Luke lingered on the last one and bit his lip. He slipped the thin strip of metal through the final hole. The belt sitting loosely around his waist, providing no support for keeping the jeans from falling down.

Groaning in frustration, Luke threw himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts projecting themselves onto the blank surface. He felt empty. He was empty. And he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt lost and unguided, stupid almost. He was nearly thirty-years-old and didn't know how to look after himself. He felt as if he were a child again, and he couldn't understand how he got into this state.

"Luke? What's wrong?" Aaron called, entering the room after hearing him make a noise of annoyance.

Sitting up slightly, Luke stared over at Aaron. Luke's glossy eyes had been a familiar feature to his face recently, and Aaron knew he was yet again upset.

"I should have tried them on, Aaron! I told you I should have!" the younger boy began to sob as he fell back onto the bed again. A fit of emotions suddenly overcoming him.

Aaron's eyes widened in shock at his crying boyfriend. He couldn't fathom why Luke was so upset. He'd never got this upset about anything before. He knew Luke held strong emotions but he also kept them under such balance that he always appeared neutral to situations.

"Oh, Luke!" Aaron whispered, sitting beside the blonde boy. "Why are you crying? It's just a pair of jeans, silly!" He wiped the tears from Luke's face and gently pulled him up, so they were now facing each other.

Luke shook his head. "But it's so much more than that. You know it is—" Aaron stood up, causing Luke to halt his words, confused by his actions. He held out his hands and pulled the younger boy up. He stared down at his boyfriend, noticing the clear gap between his jeans and stomach. A gap that he had created. Whilst most men caused a swelling belly with pregnancy, he had diminished the stomach of his lover. And it was what he had wanted, for a while.

Taking the belt in his hands, he pulled it tighter around Luke's body. Luke watched, his heart thumping in his chest. When it was tight enough to keep the jeans up, he made a little dent and then preceded to loosen the belt. Pulling it off completely.

Aaron left the room, leaving Luke standing there confused and lost. The silence filled with the heaviness of his breathing, the chaotic swirling of his thoughts. Luke let his fingers travel over the innocent piece of denim that he was wearing. So many negative words and emotions had been attached the inanimate object in just a few seconds, none of which it asked for. And now Luke wanted the material to be symbolic of how he felt and what he wanted. Incapable of expressing in plain terms his emotions, something else had to do the job.

Minutes later Aaron was back, threading the belt around his waist again, gently through each loop as if he were a child. He fasted the belt tightly and tucked the excess back into the loops. After a moment, Aaron broke the silence. "That should keep them up. I didn't think you were this small Luke. It's worrying."

Luke looked down, not able to meet Aaron's eyes. "I told you. I did tell you the other day—"

"You're losing too much weight, Luke. I think I might have to call someone."

"Please don't! Can't you help me?" Luke begged. "I don't understand what happened to me, I was fine."

"Are you asking for my help?" Aaron asked, his eyes glimmering with hope.

Luke shrugged, taking a step back and fiddling with his fingers. The barrier of analogies had been broken, they were talking in a mundane language now that Luke didn't feel comfortable using. But, he also knew that Aaron wasn't compatible with his elevated and metaphorical language. Aaron was a man of science who used words for what the meant. Luke stated plainly, "I don't want to go tonight."

"We have to Luke. It's respectful. You only have to eat a little and tomorrow we'll figure something out, okay? All you have to do is what I say. It's that easy Luke."

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Kinda happy with how this one turned out. I think I've sort of found my flow to how I like writing again.

How is everyone? What plans or goals have you got for this week??

Thank you so much for you're support!