A Court of Fire and Shadows -ON BREAK!!!-

Elain

After we got back, I continued to silently cry, all the while talking with Azriel through his shadows. He had a sarcastic, dark sense of humor that perfectly complimented my own, and was much easier to read than the others thought. After talking with him for even just a few weeks, I already knew almost everything about him, including that there was nothing between him and Mor (thank the Cauldron) they were just pretending so that their family wouldn't notice that Mor preferred females. 

The one thing he wouldn't talk about were his scars, I wouldn't push him though. If he wanted to tell me, I would be honored, if not, he wouldn't tell me. 

After Nesta fell asleep Aelin strolled into the tent. "You are coming to my tent, I can't believe you've been sitting here pretending to cry since we got back."

I snorted, "I know, but at least I could talk to Az."

Aelin raised an eyebrow and I showed her the shadow still wrapped around my ear, "We can talk through this."

Her eyes got wide, "Really," She cupped her hands around my ear, "Azzie, can you hear me?"

Elain, can you tell Aelin that yes I can hear her and that she looks really stupid right now.

I relayed the message and she scoffed, "Fuck you Azzie."

I could hear him laughing quietly and I smiled while turning to Aelin, "Azzie? That's the best you can some up with?"

She just grinned before dragging me over to Az's tent. 

He was lounging on his bed going over some reports. He raised a brow as we walked in, "Azzie? I expected better."

Aelin glared at both of us, "I hate you two." 

"No you don't." I grabbed Azriel's hand and dragged him off the bed, "Come on Azzie, we're going to talk with the Erileans."

"I have reports to write," He protested.

"I don't care, you're coming with me, I'll even drag you there at knife-point if I have to." 

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine."

Aelin clapped her hands excitedly as we walked out of the tent.

_____LINE BREAK_____

We talked with the Erileans for hours, sharing all of our stories about the stupid shit we'd seen or done.

"What were your most creative kills." Aelin asked us.

"One time, Ro killed an enemy warlord with a table." Aedion said with a smirk

"You can't be serious." Azriel raised a brow at him

I gaped, "What, you squashed him to death?"

"That's what I thought." Aelin said, throwing her hands up.

Rowan scowled, "No, I ripped the leg off and impaled him through a stone wall."

Lys and I chuckled at that.

"Your turn." Aelin jerked her chin towards me.

"Hmm.... Oh, one time I was hired to kill this narcissistic slave-trader bitch, so I cut off all her hair, made a rope out of it, and hung her from the roof by her hands so that she would eventually just splatter on the ground."

"Nice, I did one like that, but I pinned him to the outside wall by knives through arms so it would cut through his wrist before he died." Aelin had a wicked grin.

"You all are lame. One time Manon tied a fae male up and drank his blood while he was still alive, but she would wait for him to heal again before drinking more." Dorian had an arm slung around the witch.

"He broke my arm so I decided to prolong his suffering." Manon shrugged.

"Wait, you drink blood?" Azriel said, now interested.

"It tastes better than normal food, although I don't care for human blood, they have piss-poor palates."

I exchanged a look with Az, before turning back to Manon, "How are you and Amren not best friends already? You both scare the shit out of, like everyone you meet, you both drink blood, you're both from another world-"

"Amren's from another world?" Aelin looked confused, then it dawned on her, "Oh, that's why her eyes are like that."

Az nodded.

"Ok, my turn." I looked around the room, "What was the best undercover job you pulled."

"I don't have many, I usually just posed as a Crochan to kill the Crochans."

Az furrowed his brows, "I thought you were a Crochan-"

"She was raised as Ironteeth. Ironteeth kill Crochans, later she found out she was the last Crochan Queen." Aelin clarified

He nodded again.

"I have the best one. When I met Lorcan, I was on the run from Erawan because I had a Wyrdkey, Lorcan was trying to get another Wyrdkey, so he needed my information to get into Morath. I was still trying to find Aelin so we needed a place to go undercover where we could get information. I decided to go to a traveling circus, where we posed as husband and wife. At the time, we still hated each other."

"I didn't hate you, I didn't like you at all, but-"

"Well I hated you when we first met." He scowled at her, but wrapped an arm around her waist, "Anyway, I became an 'oracle'. It was a stupid job and a complete scam, but Lorcan became a sword thrower who sold his shirt for money."

Aelin started howling with laughter, Elide chuckling too, Manon and I were still grinning from ear to ear.

_____LINE BREAK_____

Hours later we were all sleeping, I remember curling up into Az's side and resting my head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around my own shoulders. I pressed myself tighter against him. 

I knew it was wrong, that he didn't care for me in the same way I cared for him, but I couldn't help it. I knew that it wasn't just because we were mates, after all, I loathed Lucien.

After what he did to Nesta, to Feyre. How could I forgive that?

But Azriel, he was kind, he genuinely cared for me, even if I was positive he didn't know we were mates. Even before he knew who I really was, he didn't care, he didn't treat me like some doll about to shatter, he saw me.

I breathed in his scent, trying to preserve it in my memory, to preserve this moment in my memory.

I will continue