The Killing Curse!

Chapter 43- Secrets unfolded

I had finished my walk around the grounds where I took some time to think about everything, mainly the situation between Draco and I. I did feel bad about moving on or using Draco for me way of coping with Cedrics death but I also know that Draco isn't that bothered about it because I know that he is using me too. It's getting harder to hide things from everyone and finding places to meet up where no one can see us, lying to Regan and Hermione is getting harder too. I had thought about the option of ending things with Draco but sex with him is way too good and I'm worried that I'll go back into silence and I don't want that. I needed to make a decision and soon about what I was going to do. I guess the only person who can really help me is Regan, I'll speak to her later on after dinner but for now I need to get to class. There is never anything to say about classes because they are pretty much all the same, sitting there listening to a teacher go on about a subject and us students taking notes and practicing spells and things. 

I was now sat in my room on my bed reading a book that was given to me in lesson today when Regan had emerged into the room from the bathroom after showering and getting ready for bed. She placed her things down and made her way over to my bed and sat on the end looking at me, waiting for me to look up from my book. I didn't even have to look up to know she wanted to talk, I closed the book, placed it to the side and looked up at Regan. "how was your walk earlier, did you clear your head or figure things out?" she asked me, I nodded and said "I'm getting closer to figuring things out just not quite there yet but my heads clearer for sure "she nodded back in response. She grabbed my hand looked down at her lap and took a deep breathe, this was never going to be good. " I was going to wait to do this but it's been playing on my mind all afternoon. Are you secretly seeing someone?" I looked at her rather shocked, has she seen me and Draco, has one of the others? "no of course I'm not, did you see how I was after Cedric died, it's way too soon to move on from him" she has this look on her face like she knew something I wasn't telling her, "ok fine, I was actually going to ask your opinion on this because I'm stuck on what to do, I'll start from the beginning and please save the judging till I've finished please. When I was in the hospital last year after Cedric died, you and the others weren't the only ones to come a visit me, Draco did as well, I know it surprised me too. He would sit there and just talk even if I wasn't replying until one day after you gave me Cedrics jumper I cried to him and he hugged me and allowed me to mourn with him. He unlocked whatever was going on inside me that was stopping me from crying. Things between us for once weren't hostile with us and on the train home I kissed him but he kissed back, I felt quilty straight away for doing it so quickly after but he reassured me that it was fine. This leads me on to what happened over summer, you know all those times I said I was going to clear my head on a walk, yeah turns out that the walk led me to the Malfoy Monor and into Draco's bedroom where things got interesting. At first it was just kissing but then it turned to more and it made me forget everything and the sex was good, really good Regan. I do feel bad for using him but he is using me too and he isn't complaining about it. There are no feelings there and never will be so it's easy. I know you're going to be disappointed in me but I wasn't thinking about the consequences I just wanted to forget everything. So that's everything, I'm not technically seeing Draco its more just a casual thing" I took a breath and looked at Regan. She looked disappointed and I hated it. She responded back with "I get the situation; I really do but don't you think that this will eventually turn sour and he'll end up hurting you. I know right now it's helping but you don't want to get caught in a vicious circle and have this end up being your life. I personally would call things off sooner rather than later but you know I'll support whatever decision you choose just do what's best for you. On a serious note, though why Draco, out of anybody, why him. You could have chosen any guy in this school and you choose the one guy who hates our guts" I nodded my head at her comment "I guess because I've seen a side to him no one else has, he helped me mourn, he sat with me throughout the night and gave me comfort. He showed me a caring side to him, but I think it's about time I ended this, it's getting harder to hide it from everyone. I'll speak to him tomorrow about this, we better head to bed don't want to be late for classes tomorrow now that pink bitch is on the prowl" Regan laughed at my comment before making her way back to her bed and we both drifted off to sleep for the night.