Chapter 19: Scars

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You had woken up to a sleeping Mark. You slowly got up and got out of his grasp without waking him. You decided to take a shower. You really needed one to be honest. You went to the closet and picked out some clean clothes and a towel. 

You got undressed, thinking about Mark. You couldn't stop thinking about him at all. Every time you saw him in your mind, you smiled like a complete idiot. You really did love him now. You loved the idea of getting to fall in love with him all over again. It really was a gift to have him. You could see why millions of people love him. Who couldn't?

When you turned on the water in your shower on and stepped in, you noticed something you hadn't noticed before. There was a scar running across the bottom of your stomach. Why was that there? You felt it with your fingers. It felt smooth and it was a light pink color. Like it was only maybe a year old. You were confused on why it was there. You decided that you'd ask Mark about it once you got out of the shower. 

You washed your hair and all that good stuff, got out of the shower, put clothes on, and dried your hair off with the towel. You went back to the bedroom and saw Mark getting dressed. When he got his shirt over his head, he saw you watching him. He smiled at you, but you didn't smile back. He realized you weren't too happy, "What's the matter, (f/n)?"

"Why is there a scar on my stomach? Did a gang come and beat me up or something? Did I harm myself? Why?" You looked at him, expecting an answer.

"(f/n)... I don't think you should know this yet..."

"I'm tired of not knowing, Mark! It's my life, I think I deserve to know what is going on with it," you told him. You didn't mean to sound angry, but you just needed to know. You couldn't stand not knowing. You felt tears stinging your waterline and looked down, "Please, just tell me."

Mark was silent. You heard him get up, sniffling. He went over to the closet and got something out of it. It was a box. He handed it to you, "Before you look in it I think I just need to tell you the story. Before we got married... You..." He began to sob while he talked, "you got pregnant, (f/n). At first we were devastated, because we weren't meaning for it to happen but then we were ready. We decided we'd keep our baby. You had an emergency C-section. You... we... we had had a beautiful baby girl. We named her... Holly... because we met at the Hollywood sign and... that's where I asked you out, and where I asked you to marry me, and where we had our first kiss... It was our place. And she was our baby. She... she was with us in New York that night..."

He began to sob even more, his hands were pulling on his hair and his eyes were closed. You were crying now. You had a baby...? Where was she? Was she okay? You opened your arms and he buried his head under your chin, rivers flowing from his eyes. He wrapped his arms around you, saying something about never letting you go and how he had lost her and almost lost you. You couldn't make out most of his words over his sobs. You were silent the whole time, but you eyes were still raining. 

When Mark finally calmed down a little bit more and pulled away he began to continue, "The car... When it hit the tree, the seat belt on the car seat pushed up against her chest too hard, and then when the car jerked back from the impact, so did her little head... She was two..."  He tried to stop himself from crying.

You shook your head. That couldn't be true. It's not true. You didn't believe it. No. No no no no no. Mark pulled you close to him as you both cried together, "I'll never let you go, ever," he choked out. You had your eyes closed but you could feel him stroking your hair, "I can't believe I almost lost you too... If I had, I would've lost my everything. I couldn't lose both of you." He was whispering now. 

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