The Novak Dolls

Who Deserves It

They spent the night in Bismarck, and Cas hated it. 

He hated the town. He hated the motel, the diner they had eaten dinner at, all for the simple reason of that he didn't know what parts of the town his mother had touched and the idea of sitting some place she frequented made him sick.

He didn't say much for the rest of the day, and Dean left him with his thoughts, something he was grateful for. He didn't feel like being cheered up, and Dean could tell, so he didn't try. 

The motel in Bismarck only had rooms with two beds available, and Cas buried himself under the covers of one of them without a word, just wanting to sleep the whole experience with his mother away. Maybe he'd get lucky and forget it all soon.

He had expected Dean to just take the other bed. That made sense, didn't it? But instead Dean crawled under the covers beside him with a sigh and held out his arms.

"Come here," He said, and Cas stared up at him in surprise until Dean shrugged. "I know what it's like to have a shitty parent, Cas, and I get that you don't want to talk about it and all, but I'm not gonna let you go through this entirely alone. You're hurting and I'm gonna try to ease that as much as I can whether you like it or not." 

Cas wished he had the words to describe his gratefulness. He had no idea how he kept getting so lucky with Dean; he just made everything better. But he couldn't think of a way to tell Dean how much he appreciated it all, so he just curled up with him, letting Dean wrap his arms around him.

"I love you," He whispered, and Dean hugged him a little tighter. 

"I love you too."

*****

They stopped at a truck stop for breakfast, and Dean stocked up on snacks and drinks for the long trek home. The first stretch of the drive was mostly quiet. The radio was on low and Cas just propped his head against the window and stared out at the passing cars while Dean drove and occasionally hummed along to the music.

Cas couldn't decide on an emotion to feel. He was sad, of course. Horribly disappointed, yes, still a bit in shock, but also...

He was mad. He was incredibly mad at Naomi, just for her sheer lack of caring, and he didn't want to be mad and that somehow made him even angrier.

But it was stupid to be angry, he decided. If Naomi didn't care about him, then why the hell should he care about her? He did care, of course, because he was that kind of person, but he also knew she didn't deserve it. 

His siblings deserved his care. Chuck, Amara, and Dean deserved it. The people in his life who were there for him deserved everything he had to give them, not those that had abandoned him and never thought twice about it.

So he decided he wouldn't care about Naomi anymore. It was the same conclusion his siblings had drawn years ago, and sure, his journey to it had taken a bit longer, but he'd gotten there. Screw Naomi fucking Milton. The day he'd feel something for her again would be the day she showed up on his doorstep begging for forgiveness and not a second sooner.

He stopped staring out the car window and instead turned his attention to the radio. An Metallica song was playing softly, and Cas reached toward the controls.

"I love this song," He said, cranking the volume. Dean glanced over at him and smiled.

"Feeling better?" He asked.

"Better," Cas insisted. "Not feeling anything at all. She's not worth it."

"No she's not."

"I think I'd rather spend my time and energy focusing on someone who deserves to be showered in my love and affection."

"And who's that going to be?"

"You." Dean grinned wider.

"Oh really? You love me that much, huh?"

"Yes I do, and you're stuck with me now."

"Promise?"

"I swear it on the life of the planet."

"A life we're saving." Cas smiled.

"Of course. We'll have to remember to conserve water once we get home." 

"We've got a long drive to get through first."

"True...Wanna play iSpy?"

"I would love to play iSpy."

******

It was late by the time Dean dropped Cas back off at home, but Chuck was still awake, downing a cup of coffee as Cas walked through the door. He grinned at his son.

"Hey Cassie," He said. "How was the trip?"

"Fine," Cas replied, setting down his bag and taking in the place.

"Do anything fun?" Cas paused, and then he crossed the room, walking over and hugging Chuck tight. Chuck didn't say anything, just hugged him back.

"It's good to be home," Cas whispered.