Sans Aus x Reader Oneshots (Infrequent Updates)

DS Blue x Depressed! Writer! Reader

Not my image.

Thank you so much for this amazing request Denistiny!

I hope you enjoy it!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️ ATTEMPTED SELF HARM AND ANGST

Background Knowledge 

Recently you downloaded this app called Centram. It is an app for all sorts of arts related hobbies and careers to share ideas and challenges. You got it hoping to improve your writing skills. You found a certain challenge that looked interesting enough and decided to test it out. For the challenge, you have to look at yourself in the mirror for thirty minutes straight, analyze your features, and then write what you look like in detail. This lowered your self esteem a great deal after seeing all of the flaws of your own appearance. With every challenge you tried, they just kept getting more and more toxic. You've managed to hide this from your boyfriend long enough, but on one of his visits to you he finds out.

Your POV 

I look in the mirror yet again after scrolling through Centram and all I can see are the flaws. My house is quiet and empty, most of the lights are turned off except for the one in this room; my room. I glance at my phone sitting on my bed with tired, blank eyes and think about the conversation I had with Blue a few days ago. He said that he wanted to come over and spend time with me after he finished all his work. That's today. I want to call it off, but I've lost all motivation to text him and tell him not to come. Instead I focus my gaze on the mirror again. I look terrible. My hair is knotted and tangled, the rich h/c color it had been just weeks before is faded. My sharp e/c eyes are now dull and seem to constantly have a lost-in-thought sort of look. I have an old bluish gray sweatshirt on that is far to big for me and reaches past my knees. I'm also wearing a pair of white sweatpants, stained with different colors from activities that have long left my mind. I lift one of my pale hands up to my equally pale face and grab a bit of my cheek between my fingers. My eyesight goes slightly blurry for a second before returning. 

I recall a video I have recently watched of a girl on Centram claiming that symmetry is everything, whether it's in art, writing, or acting. I had tried applying it to my writing and found that it was no use. I did an awful job at balancing out my characters' personalities. Now that I look back in the mirror, I notice that not even my face is symmetrical. One cheek is puffier than the other. I pinch the skin in between my fingers until it hurts, but I've been numb for a long time already. 

I release my skin after a while and turn away from the mirror, ashamed of the girl on the other side. I start making my way back to bed, maybe to scroll through more Centram to try and find the self esteem that I've lost, but something shiny catches my eye. I glance over at my dresser, which is where the object seems to be located and my eyes widen at it. Scissors. . . Without thinking, I stumble over to the dresser and grab them with both of my hands. Their two sharp teeth glint in the light of my room. Mindlessly, I wander back to my mirror and shift the scissors to one hand. 

All good judgement leaves my mind and I lift the newfound weapon to my face, already pinching the skin of my cheek with the other hand. It won't hurt that much, right? Just as I'm about to close the scissors on my cheek and cut off the unwanted parts, something stops me. I guess I hadn't heard the door open because right now, standing in the open doorway, is my boyfriend, Blue, with his hand outstretched. The strings wrapped around each individual phalanges had been shot out upon his arrival and are locked around my wrist, blocking any hope of closing the scissors on my skin. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

His voice is booming and loud, making me flinch at its ferocity. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to stop any tears from surfacing, but they are already pricking the corners of my dull eyes. My hand is shaking against the strength of his strings as I try so hard to close the scissors and be done with the horrid deed, but it's no use. The rest of my body has gone weak and my legs are struggling to hold up my own weight. After a while, I give up completely on closing the scissors and my hand goes lax along with the rest of my body. Blue's taut strings are the only things keeping my from collapsing to the floor, the tops of my feet resting on the floor instead of the rightful bottoms. Tears start pouring and I cry, producing the only noise in the quiet house. A few seconds pass before anything happens. 

I hear footsteps and then a pause. The strings around my wrist go slack and I fall to the ground, expecting to make contact with the cold, hard wood of my bedroom floor, but I don't. Instead, I fall into the arms of someone warm and comforting. Blue. He gently removes the scissors that are gripped tightly in my hands and throws them across the room, out of my reach. He then places a hand on my upper back, rubs it gently, and says a simple yet so important phrase. "Let it all out. It's alright."

And so I do. I let out all of the pain, all of the anger, and all of the self hate I've been experiencing. I sob for myself, wondering why I even bothered keeping that wretched app. I had loved it at first. All of the cool and interesting ideas everyone had were so amazing and up-lifting. Watching the videos of aspiring singers first releasing their talents out onto the platform and reading the different story prompts people came up with had become a favorite pass time of mine. I even shared a few prompts myself and they had been well received. Then, as I delved deeper, the more toxic content began to make itself clear to me. Hate comments, videos whose intentions were to do nothing but to harm others, and some of those stupid challenges meant to make people doubt themselves. I had found all of it and fallen victim to their deadly, addicting traps.

The tears continue to pour and pour, never ceasing and never fading. Blue stays with me through it all, even as I stain his shirt with rivers of water. He doesn't seem to care though. He holds onto me tightly, rubbing small and comforting circles on my back. Every once in a while, he whispers things like "It'll be okay" and "We'll get through this together" into my ear softly. He never shushes me or says "Calm down" because he knows that sometimes you just need to let it all go and keep crying until there aren't any left.

It seems that my tears last so long that I end up crying myself into a deep slumber.

Blue's POV

Y/n's sobs of agony fade into silent streams of tears flowing down her cheeks. Her eyes are closed softly instead of how tightly she had been squeezing them shut earlier. I pull her back from me lightly and look at her face as she rests in my arms. Even in her sleep she's crying. . . I wipe some of her tears with the side of my phalanges and then caress her cheek, the very cheek she had meant to cut. I stroke it softly with my thumb and look at her sadly. Why would she want to do that to herself? I stop moving my thumb against her cheek and lean closer to her face, kissing that cheek gently. A soft smile comes to her face as she sleeps and I can't help but smile as well. 

I hug her close again, resting my head on her shoulder. I close my eye sockets and sigh, whispering yet again into her ear even though she can't hear me. "Never scare me like that again. I couldn't possibly bear to see you hurt." Y/n snuggles closer to me in her sleep and I take that as a positive response. 

"Rest for now, my love. I'll make sure you never feel the way you did today ever again."

📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱

AaAaAAaaAaaH! ThE AnGsT! 

I hope all of you guys are feeling happy and well in life. If any of you relate to Y/n in this story, don't hesitate to message me or maybe just talk with a close friend! I will be happy to chat with you and hopefully make you feel a little better. Nobody should ever feel this way about themselves. 

Remember; Scissors are for cutting paper, knives are for cutting vegetables, and lighters are for lighting birthday candles. I don't think I see "skin" as apart of that list!

You are all gorgeous, talented, and amazing people! Never let anyone tell you otherwise!

Alright.

Have a fabulous day/night!

Bye Bye!