Festina Lente

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Wasting Away

20th of March 1533 - Ragley Hall

"Maria? There is something that I must discuss with you," Ippolito stated setting down his knife and fork, a frown set upon his face and his eyes focused on his wife knowing that he could not allow her to continue this way. 

In the days since the news had arrived that the Queen was with child again, he had noticed how little she seemed to eat and his worry consumed him at the fact that she seemed to be wasting away before him. 

If she was not in prayer then she was with him and Ippolito found her actions deeply troubling; he was thankful that he had dismissed the servants so that he might speak with her privately. 

In no way did he wish to shame his wife for her actions, she had clearly been taught this behaviour and he sort to correct that; he would not allow her to do more harm to herself. 

"Husband?" Mary whispered, her eyes staring down at the plate of food before her that she had been picking at since it had been set before her; she was so sure that he would voice his displeasure at the fact she was not with child. 

It was a great disappointment to her that she had yet to conceive, even wondering if perhaps this was God's way of punishing her line for what her mother had done. 

"I worry for you Maria, you have not been yourself, I care for your deeply and I fear that if you continue then we shall be parted soon," Ippolito started, he reached forward and took her hand. 

His dark eyes scanning her face and he wondered if this would work or make the situation worse; he wished for Mary to trust him and for her to see what she was doing was only hurting herself. 

The words were greeted by silence and Ippolito frowned, he hated seeing her so down and he wished that she could see that everything would be well. 

If they were blessed with children then he would be happy, but if they were not then it was not the end of the world; he had many cousins to take over from him and he could even foster one of Clarice's sons to be his heir if needed. 

"I saw many during my time serving His Holiness who thought that fasting would bring them closer to God and his wishes," Ippolito stated with a frown, he did not like to think of his time serving under Clement when he had no desire to serve the church.

If he closed his eyes then he was sure that he would find himself back in that place, watching those who had pledged their lives to God wasting away trying to gain his favour; they would go weeks, sometimes months without a proper meal. 

"Though I do suppose they did become closer to God for they passed from this life to the next," Ippolito continued, a sad smile on his face as he stared at his wife who now looked at him. 

He did not blame her for doing what she did, she had been taught wrong and he did not believe that it was Gods will to see people suffer in this way especially from the more zealous believers that were among his flock. 

"I saw many who fasted for months on end meet their end, whether from starvation or from illness, never seeing their prayers answered," Ippolito states shuddering at the thought, he had tried to argue against such practice but had found himself forbid to return to see those who took this path. 

How many would have to die this way praying on their knees for answers that would not come and wasting away on their knees while priests profited from their actions since many left their belongings to the church. 

"I do not wish to see the same fate for you," Ippolito whispered mournfully with a shake of his head, he wanted better for Mary and he was sure God would bless them when the time was right.