Perfect. [Completed]

Chapter 68. Blurry Confessions

Xara's POV.

I was amazing. I was beautiful. I was great.

That was something Romeo had been telling me for the last half an hour and, honestly, much to my surprise it didn't become annoying in the very least. Even if for some time it felt like my blush had become permanent on my face and I had to cover my head with the pillow to hide it, my heart melted every time he said something like this. I tried not to let it show, because if he knew how much he meant to me, how much I loved it when he was beside me, then he would have an advantage over me.

It wasn't like I didn't trust him in the very least. It wasn't like I was still nervous around him, even though I was probably supposed to be since he was the man who had murdered my best friend. But it was just impossible for me to hate him now, not when we had been through so much stuff together, just him and me.

"I love it when you look at redstone and your eyes light up in true happiness." My friend continued with the therapy he was ridiculously good at, while I just lay there with a smile on my face. His fingers were tracing patterns on my back, like he was trying to calm me down by stroking it. The action was complete and utterly unnecessary, but I was not going to complain.

"When you first saw the dust, you looked so happy." The redhead murmured mostly to himself, and I could literally hear the warm, purring notes in his voice. "I remember glancing at you, trying to understand what the heck you saw in it. To me, it was always some stuff that required time and a brainstorm to work, and I was never a fan of that kind of things. But you..."

He gave a small laugh and for a split moment his fingers stopped on my back, right above the area where my heart had been melting for the last thirty minutes.

"You were always like redstone yourself." Romeo continued. I didn't think he knew I was still awake, I hadn't moved a muscle in a long while. That was probably the reason why his beautiful voice became a mere whisper. "Extremely hard to figure out but attracting nevertheless. I envied everyone who could understand you, maybe because I myself was never smart or observant too much. Or... Maybe because I never thought I could have a chance with you."

My ears perked up at that. What did he mean about having a chance with me? I had always been his friend before he murdered Fred in front of my eyes, and I still gave him a second chance to make up for his mistakes. Of course he had a chance to stay by my side and on friendly terms!

The guy fell silent and slightly nudged me, but I forced my eyes to stay closed and my breathing to remain even. What would he do if he thought I was asleep? What would he say to me?

"You... You really are tired, huh?" He chuckled silently and suddenly I felt his back press against my side as he leaned the couch while sitting on the floor. Why he would choose a hard floor over comfortable couch or even a chair remained a mystery to me, even despite his attempts to explain it, but right now I couldn't care less. "Oh boy... Well, I can't blame you now, can I? Not after I took your bed away."

He let out a sad sigh and my heart throbbed at the sound. Wow. Just... Wow. How the hell did he sound so sincere now? And why was this strange sadness here in his voice now?

"You didn't deserve it." Romeo continued sadly and now it hit me that I was about to hear his confession, the words he never would've said if he knew I was awake. Guilt stang me again. Maybe I wasn't doing the right thing? Maybe I shouldn't pretend to be asleep only to eavesdrop? But... Whatever he was about to say felt very important to say the least.

"You didn't deserve to lose everything you loved because I was too weak." He whispered. Now it was too late for me to reveal that I was in fact not asleep and could hear his every word. So I just stayed still and listened, hating myself for it. "You didn't deserve to lose yourself, to lose Fred, to lose your life. But you know what?"