Perfect. [Completed]

Chapter 16. Not Like Him.

Xara's POV.

I sighed and rubbed my arms, my head hanging low, crushed under the unbearable guilt. I wanted to apologise, I really did - but my tongue simply couldn't form the words. And I had absolutely no idea, why.

Romeo turned around, grabbing the pan and turning it over, a pale circle of dough falling down from it directly on a plate. My stomach churned one more time, demanding food, but a dark, empty feeling in my chest made me feel really dizzy just from looking at these pancakes. There was that wish, that urge to do something, just to make him and me a bit happier. But what could I possibly do?

Just when I was fighting with myself, Romeo put the pancakes on a plate and placed it in the middle of the table, another plate was already standing near a chair. Then he stepped back, bowed his head and put his hands behind his back, hiding his eyes from me. I sighed and walked closer, only for my roommate to back away, his muscles tense with... Was it fear?

It shot me like a lightning, even though I had known it all along. He was scared of me. And it hurt, it hurt unlike anything I had experienced before. It wasn't physical, and it wasn't mental, it just... It just was there. And I couldn't fight it.

- Hey. - I pointed at the plates, one of which was filled with delicious circles. - Why is there just one plate?
- Would you want me to eat? - Romeo's voice was empty. But it had power, and this power shook me to the core. What was he saying?
- What? - I frowned, trying to hide my frustration. - I... I don't know-are you hungry?
But he just shrugged. And there was so much pain in that simple gesture, that I literally felt it.

- Don't you know? - I reached up to his shoulder, but my hand stopped mid-air. - You've been through a lot today, you must be starving!
No answer. No reply. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. So, instead, I just turned around and... And it hit me. He wasn't just afraid of me like he had been before, he was acting as if...

As if I were John Doe.

The realisation happened so fast that for a moment or two I was simply frozen, rooted on one spot. Then looked at him, my heart pounding so fast that I was afraid it would break.
He... He really did see me as that demon, didn't he? A part of me wanted to be furious at that fact, but I knew that if it was anybody's fault, it was mine. I was the one who treated him like - well, trash. I was the one who hurt him. And I was the one who was about to lock him in a chest.

But I wasn't like that monster! I knew I would never hurt Romeo the way he did. I would never torture him, I would never punish him for misbehaving.
Or so I wanted to think. Because right after that thought crossed my mind I remembered the lake. I almost drowned Romeo in there, all because I was too scared to lose him!

But it didn't mean I was like John Doe! Or did it?

One thing I knew for sure was that I did not want to follow his footsteps. If Romeo was telling truth, than this man was more evil, than the redhead in front of me, and that said something. Terror took control over my body for a moment when I gripped the table, breathing too loudly. Was I really treating Romeo the way he had?!

But there was one thing that, I knew, Doe had never given to Romeo. Pity. So, if I didn't want to be like him, that's the thing I had to give. For now, no more hatred.

- Do you want to eat? - I asked again, trying to make my voice soft. Romeo shrugged and turned away.
- May I say "no"?
Okay, now, this wasn't right! He wasn't acting this way in the very beginning, why would he start now?!

- Romeo, I asked you a question. - My voice didn't rise, it wasn't like I felt any fury that moment. Maybe just on myself - and that demon. - You can answer whatever you want, I'm not going to hurt you for that.
My hand finally fought its way to his shoulder. Romeo flinched as my skin brushed against his clothes, and I felt strange prickling in my fingertips.
- I swear.