Forty Five

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a/n: okay i'm going to explain something really quick bc from reading a bunch of comments throughout this story i'm not sure people understand harry's personality and how he would react to certain things. i know this is really long but pleaseeeeeee read this. harry is a guy with little to no confidence and a very low sense of self worth, which he does not necessarily realize because he's never been in a situation (like dating summer) where it's been brought out of him. guys in general like to be able to be the breadwinners and take care of their girlfriend/wife/etc, so harry feels completely emasculated dating a girl with a seemingly endless bank account while he's barely getting by with his own money. so his ego is crushed, which takes forever to build back up in guys bc they're not emotionally strong in the head. when you combine his crushed ego (especially now that summer's parents talked shit) and his low confidence, he's going to beat himself up about every little detail and not believe he's worth anyone's time. and this is hard for him to overcome. it's hard for anyone to overcome their own negative thoughts. so yes, i know he sounds annoying and whiny and like a 'typical teenage girl' and he should 'just get over it', but that's how his mentality works.

"Quit your lollygagging, and grab your bag!" Xander shouted at me from the kitchen area. "Niall is down stairs with a car, waiting for us."

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed a pair of sunglasses and my duffle bag. As I stepped out of my room, Xander was standing at the front door, waiting for me impatiently with his own bag and the massive bag of food and alcohol.

I didn't want to fucking go camping. I didn't want to fucking do anything. I just wanted to stay in my room or go to the gym or just go for a very long run. I don't know, anything where I didn't have to go and pretend that I was all fine and dandy, because I wasn't.

"About time," Xander rolled his eyes and locked the door as we left the apartment.

"Shut the hell up ... Ow! What the fuck!" I yelped and scowled at him as he had punched me in the arm. It wasn't just a friendly punch, it was an actual, solid punch to my arm.

He pointed his finger at me as his face twisted into a very pissed off expression, "You need to snap the fuck out of your little pity party. So things aren't going so smooth with you and Summer, you'll get over it. The two of you will work things out if you actually talk to each other and if you actually stop feeling so sorry for yourself. You are the one that ruins the relationship, not her parents. God damn, where's Isabella when you need her? She'd happily knock some sense into you." 

"You're a fucking asshole."

"Yeah maybe, but at least I don't care what other people think of me, unlike you. At least I don't let everyone else's thoughts and opinions direct my entire fucking life."

"Fuck you."

We reached the lobby and stepped out of the elevator, "We're going on a fucking trip out of here, thanks to Niall, so you better put on a smile and not ruin the whole thing."

Just as I was going to snap back at him I heard Niall shouting at us from the curbside. He had on his sunglasses and a massive smile as he waved us over. I was too much in my own world to really listen to anything he was saying. It was obvious to him that I wasn't myself, or maybe Xander said something to him. Either way, he focused his attention on Xander, and the two of them talked to each other as the car drove down the street.

It had been a couple days since I talked with Summer. Ever since her parents told me to leave, it's been difficult trying to get a hold of her. She'd miss my calls, and when she would call me back, I'd always miss them. Not intentionally of course, but we couldn't seem to get a hold of each other. 

I was too much of a fucking coward to even step foot in her building, in case her parents were there to kick me out again. I don't want to fuck with them. They have all the money and power and resources to make my life a living hell, and I don't want to give them the chance to do so. They could set me up for some kind of crime, or some shit like that, and get away with it because they have the ability to pay people off. I would be fucking screwed.

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