Chapter One Hundred and Three

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"No more tasteless jokes?"

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"No more tasteless jokes?"

"You only think they're tasteless because you were born amongst the dinosaurs Grandpa."

As soon as the elevator doors ding I'm stalking out

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As soon as the elevator doors ding I'm stalking out. Sneakers padding across the mat I drop my duffle bag with a loud fruatrated smack. It's the early hours of the morning so nobody is up yet. Nobody but me. Sleeping has been difficult these past three weeks. Actually, it's been impossible. The only time I catch even a wink is when I exhaust myself so much I pass out anywhere in HQ. My dreams are filled with Bucky and Tony. I can't escape them nor can I quash the emotions I have raging, particularly the overwhelming guilt and grief I have weighing on my chest. Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning. No matter how much I try to swim the water is still pulling me under.

Hence why I've begun waking up to use the gym early. Without anyone around, I'm free to lose control and not feel judged. Not that anyone has. It's more for my own benefit them theirs. Wrapping my hands I knot the wraps and walk over to the punching bag. With Carol still out searching for Tony, I'm left useless and I absolutely despise the feeling. Clenching my fingers into my fist, I correct my stance before launching punch after punch into the bag. Upon each impact I feel the anger bubbling to the surface, my composure and control slipping. Grunting from the force I'm driving into the bag I don't stop trying to release all my emotion into the pillar of aggression.

"What did that punching bag ever do to you?"

Sparing a glance over my shoulder I see Natasha watching me carefully. Hip tilted to the side she observes my actions with her arms folded over her chest. "Better this then a person right?" I throwback at her before releasing my fist once more into the bag. As I punch out my aggression Natasha comes silently around to hold the bag. She's watching me carefully but I pay no attention, my gaze zeroed into the red leather which is taunting me.

After a long moment, Natasha quietly speaks up, "Danvers is going to find him, Addie. Sure it's taken some time-"

"Not talking about this", I curtly reply hooking my fist to the side.

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