Behind The Front | Yoonkook

Chapter 28

Yoongi POV

It's not even an hour later when Jungkook and I are in my bed together, the younger fast asleep by this point. Though, my head is still reeling from the happenings of this evening, and I know I have no chance of sleeping at the moment. All I want to do is cry.

Carefully untangling myself from the younger boy, I find myself holding back tears as I tiptoe out of my bedroom with my phone in hand. Leaving my bedroom door cracked open, I walk over to the couch and dial Hoseok's number, tears already falling by the time it's ringing.

"Yoongi? Hyung, what's up?" Hoseok answers on the second ring, and I can hear the worry in his voice. I whimper softly at this, more tears falling.

"Jungkook. W-we kissed a-and... He wanted us to be together." I manage to mumble out before curling in on myself. I hear him say an 'oh hyung' under his breath as I begin crying harder, feeling terrified.

"Are you okay? What'd you tell him?" Hobi asks gently, tone much softer this time.

"I... He asked what it made us, after we kissed. I-I told him that we could be whatever he wanted us to be, that there could be an 'us' if that was what he wanted. Fuck, Hobi, I'm so scared. He said he wanted me to be his, and I told him that that's what I'd be then." I mumble out through the tears.

"Yoongi, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you for not backing out even though you're scared. It's gonna be okay, alright? Have you told him about Jackson?" Hoseok responds softly. I whimper at the name, shaking my head.

"No. No, he doesn't know anything about my past. I'm not telling him, Hobi." I mutter out in a pout. He sighs at this and I can hear him run his hands through his hair.

"Yoongi, I love you but you need to tell him. He needs to know what you went through, at least with Jackson. Otherwise, you're going to be crying yourself to sleep every night, fearing that he's gonna turn out the same even though he's nothing like Jackson. Okay? You won't be happy if you're always worrying that he'll turn out like Jackson. He needs to know so that he can be the one helping you through those fears and reassuring you as he's supposed to." Hoseok speaks gently, making me whimper even more.

"I don't want to have to relive those memories though, Hobi. I don't wanna bring them up. I just wanna be able to move the fuck on." I cry out quietly, trying to be careful not to wake the younger that's fast asleep in the other room.

"Yoongi, you're already suffering from them. You're not gonna feel better about it and you're gonna be terrified of any sort of relationship until you talk it out. You need to tell Jungkook, even if you don't want to. I promise, hyung, it's gonna make it better. We both know you're not gonna be able to move on from it until you sort it out with him." Hoseok pushes softly.

I bite my lip as I stare down at the coffee table in front of me, feeling so small right now. I feel like a little kid who's had a terrible nightmare and is afraid to fall back asleep, not wanting to see the bad monsters again. But, sleep will overcome me eventually, this I know too well, so it's best to get it over with, best to accept my fate and clear the path as well as possible before doing the inevitable.

"Okay." I whisper quietly, my voice hoarse from the crying.

"It's going to be okay, Yoongi. You'll always have me and Jin hyung and Namjoon and Tae. Call me tomorrow if you need anything, alright? Try to get some sleep." Hoseok murmurs softly, and I soon find the two of us hanging up.

Biting my lip nervously, I glance back to the bedroom door with tears still blurring my vision.

Closing my eyes lightly, I force myself to take a few deep breaths to try and calm down. I need to get some sleep just like Hobi said, and if I'm gone for too long, I risk the chance of Jungkook waking up. That's the last thing I need right now. I don't want to upset or worry him.

Rubbing my hands over my face a couple times, I stand and head back into my bedroom, only feeling minimally better but much more tired.

Crawling back into bed, I lay myself so that my head is facing away from Jungkook, still wanting to be a bit precautious. Though, I soon feel him roll over in bed, and then there's an arm wrapping around my waist as I'm pulled backwards a bit to lay against him, feeling his head soon resting against my back gently.

I smile a bit at the feeling, knowing it's one I don't want to let go of.