Falling For My Exchange Brother | BOOK 1,2,3

34. Trying To Understand

2 weeks...

I watch the TV, holding onto the remote as there's nothing to watch. Hotels never have good channels. Their stuff starts backwards almost. Adult Swim is on in the morning and afternoon, then at night it's regular Cartoon Network. More like Eastern time on here.

Aww shit...

I throw the remote, hearing it slam against the wall. My head plopping on the pillow as my eyes watered again.

Arthur came into my mind once again and - I'm sorry - it's just killing me! Revenge? Really?!

No ones visited me...except my parents. Arthur hasn't even bothered, not surprised. Dylan hasn't even though I know he's in the area. Has literally everything been a lie?

It can't be possible? Why would you put so much effort into doing that? Wouldn't that hurt your heart as well? I don't fucking get it!

Whenever I told my dad he just laughed and wouldn't listen to anymore of what I had to say. Like usual, being a bitch towards his own son... Saying I never listened to reason and my assumptions got me here.

Don't know what the hell he means. Who the hell wouldn't assume?! Arthur fucking hurt me, lied to me, took my heart and now he holds it tightly in his hand. I'll never get it back, ever! That's the worst part!

...a connection with his English instructor he knew for a hot minute. I just don't see it though! How do you make-out with someone and get close to them like that in under twenty minutes? It doesn't add up yet it does!

Did he ever love me?

Did he not love me and had sex with me? I made myself vulnerable in front of him...I trusted him... It's so fucking embarrassing!

Now I've trapped myself in this hotel and don't want to go anywhere. Arthur is at the house and I don't want to cross paths. If I do I know I'll just want to cry. I can't keep crying anymore, I'm almost afraid to have no tears left.

I flinched when I heard a knock on the door, making me groan as I got off my bed. Walking to the door, I looked through the peephole and low-and-fucking-behold I see him. Arthur.

My heart stopped, and I find myself leaning against the door as I shook my head.

Why of all times...? I'm happy here...no I'm not. He hurt me and now he's in front of me? This door is the only thing keeping us apart. If I see him I may cry, punch him, hug him, I don't know. But I won't allow him to become my weakness.

...

"I know you are there, saw you look through peephole."

I sighed, hearing his English better and knowing he's been with the instructor guy.

"Arthur why...?" I croak, hearing him sigh as I didn't understand why.

"Just wait. I have reasons."

"Yeah, to get back at me?"

"That is not it. I am hurt you think so poor of me."

I groan, laying on the ground half-naked, my palms over my eyes as I block the tears from falling. I try to at least.

"And I'm hurt that you fucking took revenge on me like this!"

"William..."

"I thought you loved me? I loved you!" I stood, slamming my fist on the door as I laid my head against it." I...I let you hold me like no one before and you do this to me..."

There was suddenly just silence, making me think he left. But looking through the hole gave me confirmation that he was still there. Seeing him shaking his head as he rested his hand on the door.