Chapter 40

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💖Chapter 40💖

When alec comes out from shower magnus looks upset, he is looking at the wall and sitting on the bed…

Alec :is that face look upset because of me or what I said!??? ( he asked frowning)

Magnus :no it's about Raphael, he said he is somewhere out with his colleague,he didn't say another word… he Is mad at me Alexander.. It's my fault, he is not going to forgive me that easy (he said kneading his own hands)

"he will understand you, give him some time.. Mmm!!!" alec said and patted magnus cheeks… he nodded in retrun..

Later by night they reach their loft, getting . Ready for bed..

Alec sleeps on his stomach on saying" good night "

Magnus :what??? No good night kiss???

Alec :no!!!

Magnus :hey!!! That's tooo much atleast in cheeks pls (he leans to kiss alecs cheeks but alec push him away and turn his head towards the opposite side)

Alec :If you want to kiss, clear your mind first.

Magnus :shook his head and slept facing the other side..

In the middle of the night he couldn't sleep, he try again but alec pushed him away again…

Magnus :who wants your lips??Do you think I can't live without your kiss.?(he said annoyingly)

Alec :then don't steal kiss from me… let's see how you live without my kiss (he said holding his laughter back)

In the morning,

Alec was dressing in front of mirror, "hey!!! Quick!!! it's getting late for me" on saying that magnus walks into the room.. He saw alec pulling his t-shirt from his head . He ran and hugged him from behind before the shirt touched his bare skin magnus hugged him tight.

It was like alec wearing that shirt for both of them.. Magnus buried his head in alecs back..alec lost for a second, he missed this warmth already but immediately backed off from the hug..

Magnus :what???

Alec :no hugs!!! Remember??? ..

Magnus :Come on, stop this game!!!!

Alec :Does it look like a game for you??

Magnus :fine (he stormed out of the room)

Alec felt bad for magnus even though he couldn't resist his touch, he had to do this to pull his magnus out from his mystery . He had to tolerate everything by now….

When they reach the office magnus doesn't say anything. He waits for alec to say something but alec walks towards his office without saying a word.. Magnus walks to the hospital with frustration

++++++++++

Kira :someone looks upset??? (she said patting magnus shoulder)

Magnus :it's nothing!!!!

Kira :tell me magnus what's your problem.. You have to open it to someone..

Magnus:It's about alec!!!

Kira :fight????

Magnus :no!!it's not a fight , it's more than that..

Kira :hey!!! What it is.. Talk to me…

Magnus :it's because of me.. Holding myself back to move further in our relationship..

Kira :you are just joking right… you're the one holding back??? I can't believe that.. I know how desperately you want him..

Magnus :That's the problem… I don't want to hurt him and I don't want him to get bored of me and my clinginess towards him… so I ask him to wait till the wedding.. I know it's too much but I want him for all my life Kira, not just as a hookup or breakup..i can't take it if things get different in the next 4 months..

Kira:why do you think like that magnus??? He loves you.. I can see that in his eyes… trust is more important in relationships magnus

Magnus :it's about about trust Kira.. It's my inner voice.. Whenever I gain the courage to take the next step with him, there is this voice in my mind repeating that' this is temporary, like this won't last'…even every time I kiss him, those voices keep on saying "I am gonna suffer" I am dying inside, but nobody knows this..

Kira :magnus!!! Don't confuse yourself.. You are afraid to lose him.. Before this He doesn't know that you loved him,but now he knows how much you love him and he loves you back more than you can imagine..

Magnus:it's not fear Kira… it's my instinct,my inner instinct never goes wrong, that's what I am afraid of.. Besides ,everyone thinks I am punishing alec even he thinks the same.. But the truth is I am punishing myself by holding my emotions back.. (his voice getting broken)

Kira:I get it magnus but you can't keep going like this… problems like this will end the relationship. The other one feels different. You are hurting alec by doing this to you..

Magnus :Look at me now Kira… I have been holding my emotions for years and years, but he said no kiss or hug since yesterday.. I can't take it right now why???? I can't withhold myself from kissing or cuddling him.. It's because I am used to this,.us... Then think about it, what if I get used to this physical relationship with him and I lose him in a short period of time.. Do you think I survive.. (he said tears running from his eyes to cheeks)

Kira:magnus!!! I can understand.. Listen if we keep worrying about the future then the present life will become hell.. So stop worrying about anything.. Whatever is bothering you, Keep everything aside.. And be happy with him… I don't know you for too long but I know how much you love him, don't mess anything between you two, what you want to both have is beautiful.. It's hard to find a love in friendship

Magnus didn't say anything

Kira :Anything can happen. In the next minute of our life magnus, we know that more than anyone, so don't regret it later .. There is no point in worrying after losing it..

Magnus think for a second and nodded to kira with little smile in his corner of lips

Kira :that's my boy.. (she said rubbing his back) 

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