you'll find me here forever ➳ kol mikaelson [ the vampire diaries ]

☆ 5.40 ~ volcano

when you lose the one you've wanted
it's like a part of you is haunted
and you're desperate for hope
but the ashes and smoke
are covering the ground
~ emily hearn, volcano

20 comments until the next chapter
question of the chapter: if lydia and kol were to have a daughter do you have any name suggestions?

Lydia regretted killing Silas.

She never thought that she would say those words or even think them. Lydia hated Silas. He did damage to her life that took years to fix. He made Kol forget her, he made her friends forget her, and left her completely alone. Then he destroyed Lydia's relationship with Kol. Lydia didn't know how much of what happened afterwards she could blame Silas for, but that didn't stop her from trying.

Lydia learned what she could from Silas in the summer they spent together, and she learned quite a bit. There were still some things she didn't know, things she wished he had time to teach her. One in particular would be great right about now. He mentioned how psychics could travel into people's minds even if they were far away, whether they were conscious or not. If she could get into Kol's mind, she could speak to him without Klaus even knowing. She could make sure that he knew she was going to get him back. That he wasn't all alone in there. Lydia didn't like the idea of him being all alone with his thoughts. No one else to listen to him, no one for him to talk to, just nothing.

She remembered he said something about being able to create visions in his mind, of something peaceful, something more pleasant to distract himself. But as time went by, that got harder to do. Lydia didn't want to let it get to that point.

"Lydia, are you still in bed?" Lydia didn't even bother to look up at her bedroom door where she knew Rae stood."Lydia, you have class in like twenty minutes. And you were in bed all day yesterday."

"It's not my fault your boyfriend won't call me," She responded bitterly. It had been three days since Kol was daggered. Elijah had four more days left. Then Lydia was going to get in touch with Davina somehow. She would go to New Orleans if she had to. Stupidly she never saved Davina's number. She couldn't exactly ask Klaus or Elijah for it, or they would know what was going on and they couldn't. But Elijah hadn't kept in touch. He did the first two days, and then he stopped. Lydia wondered if he somehow got daggered too.

"Elijah is not my boyfriend," Rae huffed in annoyance.

"I never mentioned Elijah's name," Lydia shrugged her shoulders, causing Rae to roll her eyes as Lydia reached over and grabbed her phone off her nightstand, seeing no new notifications and sighing in disappointment,

"You have a life, one that Kol wants you to live," Rae reminded her, walking over to her side so that she could get a better look at her friend."He wouldn't want you to bury yourself under your covers for the rest of your life."