Youth (NEYMAR JR)

Oitenta E Quatro - Numb.

Sometimes in life there are things you literally have to do that you never ever even imagined.

Like for me it's having an abortion, but I guess that's what I want. I know this might be so wrong to some people, like my own family. It's my decision and I can't do anything about it.

When I said the word "abortion" Neymar's color changed from white to green, and from green to red. It scared me too, but I guess he just wasn't seeing this coming, well I wasn't either.

We stood there, frozen like statues. He didn't make any movement or any sound. He looked terrified and obviously shocked.

He finally spoke after what seemed to be hours.....

"Oh.....well if that's what you w-want" He says, looking down his shoes and the back up. I know he is against this, and I honestly don't really like it myself. I just don't want to give birth to a child that I won't be able to raise properly. I want to have my first child when I am ready and sure. I don't want to give birth to a child that I won't be raising. I want him or her to be raised properly, with no problems flying around.

"I am s-" He cuts me off, taking a few steps back as if he was about leave the room any time soon.

"I would have loved to keep the baby and I would have done anything for it, just like how I do anything for Davi, but you have the right to chose, and if this is what you want than okay." He says, taking a deep breath before leaving the room.

My head hurts and I am just praying I won't collapse on the floor. I don't want to wait any longer. I don't even want to know the sex of the baby, it is just going to make me feel worse than what I am. Everything around me is confusing me and I can't wait to go home. I want to go home and relax, but when I think about home I get worried. My parents are home, and so is my aunt. They will find out, especially my mom.

I change my mind. I can't go home.

I lay down on the bed, with my head buried in the pillow. Fuck it, I am so screwed.

Could things get possibly worse?

Someone kindly took with my phone, thank god and it was laying on the table next to the bed. I un-lock my phone and go through my messages. I had several messages from my mom and aunt. My dad called me too, because he hates sending texts.

I quickly start texting both of them back, letting them know that I probably won't come home tonight since I am still on the trip, and obviously they will believe me. If I say that I am at the hospital, they will both freak out. I honestly have never ever felt so bad, and I have never ever lied like this. I am becoming a filthy liar. 

Oi mami, I am still with Rafa and them. We some small accident like getting a little road sick and stuff, so currently we might come back to Sao Paolo later next week. Te amo xx

I make my way down the hallway, wondering around trying to find everyone else. I have no idea which room Neymar was staying in. I want to go back to him, and ask how he's doing. I hope he doesn't mind seeing me, because the last time I saw him he seemed so down. I hope he's not going to keep distance away from me because of what I said about the baby. Honestly, right now everything is so fucked up that I really need to rest properly and have some time for myself.

As I walk down the hallway, I see Rafa standing there with two Starbucks. She comes almost running to me and almost spilling both of the beverages.

"There you are, I thought you were with the rest" She says, handing me what seemed to be coffee.

"Obrigada" I say, taking a sip from the beverage and burning my tongue. A bad habit I have.

"Be careful girl, it's hot you know" She says, chuckling a bit.

"Do you know where Neymar and everyone else is? The doctor said I can go home whenever I want since they have done all the tests" I say as we walk down the hallway.

"Everyone's already out, we are waiting for you babe. You know you're coming with us, right?" She says, smiling and I smile back. I know how Rafa still wants to continue this road trip, but she has no idea that I am pregnant. It kills me how I can't tell her, and that the only who knows about this is Neymar.

"Yeah of course, but I need to go get my phone if we are leaving now" I say, as I give her my coffee as I sprint back to where I left my phone.

As I go and get my phone, I stop by the mirror and take a look at my belly. It's still bloated, and not really that round. I know that the baby is fine and healthy, it's said on the test papers. I can tell that soon it's going to get round and then it's obvious I am pregnant. Right now it just looks like I ate a lot.

The Range Rover we came with is parked outside, with Sheyla, Neymar, and Gil inside. Neymar is sitting in the drivers seat, and Sheyla in the passenger seat.

I slide in between Gil and Rafa. They both were talking about the coffee while Sheyla was just humming to whatever song that was playing. Neymar was driving with no lack of emotion. He hasn't said one word, and I haven't either. I have no words to say. It's like 11:45 PM, and we haven't had proper dinner.

"Ney, why don't we stop by the hotel and go eat dinner there, you with me?" Gil says suddenly, and Sheyla turns down the radio.

"Yeah Ney, I totally agree, I mean we all are hungry?" Sheyla's voice has never ever been so annoying to me. She's really getting on my last nerves, even thought she hasn't even done anything towards me.

"Sure" He says, with no lack of emotion in his tone. I can't tell if he's mad, angry, upset, depressed, or okay.

_____

Hope you guys liked this chapter, next chapter is going to be way more exciting, promise!

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