Youth (NEYMAR JR)

Oitenta E Tres - Decision.

So he says he loves me and that I can't seem to understand that.

If he loved me he wouldn't have broken up with me, and let it all out on the social media. He wouldn't have bought with that girl Sheyla. He wouldn't have ignored me a the Juice bar.

I understand how guilty he felt after the car accident, even thought it had nothing to do with him or me. It was just an accident that hopefully is over now. I just don't understand how after all those months, after all those things we went through together, he came up to me and said he wanted to break up, when he knew that I loved him as much as he loved me.

I can't tell right now if I love him that much. Maybe I can feel it, but just won't admit it.

Of course you still love him, it's not that easy getting over the person you love the most. Especially after everything and after waiting so long, that you felt like you weren't going to ever see him again.

I am going to admit it to myself. I still love him. Just like he still loves me. There's still something else, and that is I can't be in a relationship with him. I don't want to and it has nothing to do with anyone or the fucking social media.

It's me. I don't want to and I won't.

The big problem here is the baby. The fetus inside my belly keeps on growing and right now it's been almost three months. It's driving me insane and I feel weaker than ever. I am left behind my classes, training sessions, family weekends, the road trip me and Rafa were supposed to be on right now.

How am I going to start living again? I am so young and dumb, I had no idea I was two months pregnant! Do you know how bad this makes me feel?!

By now the doctor has left and It's only me and Neymar. He's sitting right next to me, but we aren't touching. I can feel his breath and the strong scent of his cologne, that surprisingly has stayed from today earlier. 

I want to speak and say at least something, but as I open my mouth nothing comes out. No even a single word. Instead, I start sobbing. I start sobbing like a baby that has lost its mommy and daddy in the supermarket. 

I feel Neymar's arms wrap around my shoulder, but I instantly stand up. Leaving him feeling kind shocked and worried.

"J-Junior....I can't do this" I say, still sobbing. He looks at me with worried expression.

"Do what?.....the b-baby?.....is that what you mean?" He frowns, in confusion.

I nod slowly, as I sob and wipe the tears running down my face. I hear him take a deep breath, as he stands up and paces across the room like a psychopath.

I stand there, sobbing. I watch him pace around and it makes me nervous. I want to stop him, but I am so weak and numb.

After what seems to be hours, he stops and stares at me. Those crystal brown eyes are starring right into mine. It looks like he's about to cry, and I really hope he isn't going to. I can't stand that, just like how he couldn't stand watching me cry.

"Y-you know I love you.....right?" He looks at me, so focused and calming.

Do you I know that?

Of course I do, but why can't I admit it.

"And I know....I know that you have the right to....to chose if you want to k-keep this b-baby...or to not" He says in a very weak tone, similar to mine. 

The thing here is that.....I don't know if I want to take an abortion or not. I am scared and terrified. I haven't told anyone. It's only the doctors that know, and Neymar. If it keeps on growing, soon everyone will find out.

I am starting to make my mind up.

I start walking to him, taking a few steps closer until our chests were touching. I look at him, and then take a deep breath. I can't believe I am going to say this, now.

"I think....I think I have to take an abortion"

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Oi, meus amores! I hope you liked this very bad and upsetting chapter!

THIS IS NOT THE END. there is more to come.

I wanted to say sorry for taking years to update. I will be coming with a book 2 so yaaayy! Oh and please follow me on Social Media's.....like if you want ofc.

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