The Emperor's Concubine

B.2 Chapter Twenty-Seven

I sigh, staring out the window of the parlour, the rain continuing to pour down outside.
Esmerelda sleeps soundly against me, causing my arm to grow numb.
I stretch lightly, trying not to jostle her.

The doors open, and Lance walks in and bows.
Behind him enters Cabel.
His watchful eyes focused on Esmerelda.
"Esmerelda... Esmerelda?" I call out, attempting to wake her.
She stirs in her sleep until slowly opening her eyes.
She looks around until looking back at Cabel, her eyes widening with fear as her complexion grows pale.
Cabel's red eyes pierce into her.
"Esmerelda?" I call out, confused by her expression.
"M-Monster!" She screams.
She cries, sobbing as she holds onto me.
I look back at Cabel who stares, unbothered.
"Monster? He's not a monster, Esmerelda." I call out, consoling her.
"H-He's the monster, h-he hurt those men!" She sobs.
Everyone's eyes widen as she screams.
"The monster?" Duke Oslo questions.
"Esmerelda, take a deep breath, okay? I'll do it with you, just take a deep breath on the count of three. One, two, three." I inhale deeply as Esmerelda trembles, trying to take deep breaths with me.
We continue until she's able to catch her breath, her face still pale with fear.
"Esmerelda, what do you mean the monster?" I ask.
"B-Brother never came back and I got hungry, so I went out to look for him. W-While I was out, I started being chased by a monster and I ran until I found a cave. T-There were loud noises and I got scared so I hid, and saw men hitting at the rocks and walls. But then, the monster came... I-It had bright red eyes, black fur, and it started killing those men." Esmerelda begins sobbing, holding my arm tightly.
"She's a witness... We need to take her statement." I speak up, staring back at everyone.
Cabel's brows furrow slightly.
"Duke, take care of it." Cabel turns to leave the room.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"She's trembling in fear from just being near me, I can't stay if I frighten her. Lance keep knights posted on her, and prepare a guest bedroom." Cabel speaks up, leaving the parlour.
"Ah, wait-" I call out, moving to stand.
"No! Don't leave me alone sister!" Esmerelda sobs, holding onto me tighter.
I look back at the door as it closes behind Cabel.
"Shh, it's okay." I whisper, petting her head.

After Duke Oslo takes her statement, Lance brings Esmerelda to a guest bedroom.
I hurry down the hallway, looking for Cabel.
I stop by his office, bedroom, and library, still unable to find him.
I roam the palace searching for him.
Looking outside the window, in the distance on the gazebo, I see a silhouette of a man.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I grab a blanket as well as an umbrella
I rush outside, approaching the gazebo. The rain pouring down with a chilly wind.
Ahead I see Cabel, sitting as he stares out at the scenery.
"Cabel, you'll catch a cold." I call out, stepping up the gazebo stairs.
He turns to look over at me.
His hair and clothes drenched from the rain.
I place the blanket over his shoulders, sitting down beside him.
"Why are you here?" I ask.
"I wanted to think." He calmly speaks, a look of melancholy in his expression.
"About what?"
"There's a lot of things I needed to think about..."
I take a deep breath, sighing.
"If something's bothering you, please talk to me..." I gently speak, holding his cold hand.
He looks back into my eyes and exhales, moving to adjust the blanket. He opens the blanket, placing it over my shoulders as he pulls me in to him.
I rest my head against him as we quietly sit.
"Our kids would be afraid of me." He speaks up.
I look up at him, my eyes widened.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I've killed, who knows how many people. I've ruined lives and brought kingdoms to ruin. Our kids will grow up, learn of my reign, and see me as a monster."
"Cabel, you're being silly."
"How do you know?" He looks down at me with his sharp, yet saddened red eyes, "Your sister thought I was a monster because of how I look. Our kids could be afraid of me just for my looks, and eventually grow more terrified when they hear of my past."
I stare back at him, taking a deep breath.
For some reason, reassuring him seems impossible when those words don't even feel right.

'How do I say it'll be okay, when even I was afraid of him at one point?'
I think to myself, tilting my head as I look back at his eyes.
"Cabel... I don't know what could happen if we have children... I'd be lying if I said I didn't find you intimidating, but eventually I began to see you for how sweet you are. You can be worried about being a father, but I know that the moment they're born, you'll show them as much love and care you've always given me. They may not be afraid of you, but if they grow up to learn about your past, it's up to them if they change their opinions on you from what they learn."
"And if they despise me?"
"Then we can't change much... But all I can say is that if they're going to be our child, they'll learn to not judge others... Do you think I'm insane for loving you, even after all you've done?"
"Would you be mad if I said yes?"
I chuckle, holding his hand.
"I can't be mad when I know it's the truth... But if I judged everyone based on what I heard about them, I would have no faith in others growth. But I love you because of how sweetly you treat me, and how hard you're trying to improve."
"You'd be upset if I didn't change some aspects."
"No... I wouldn't be upset if you didn't change. It's who you are and who you were. Right now you're trying to be stronger, and learning to control yourself when your emotions get the best of you. I'm proud you're reflecting and doing your best to improve, but don't do this for me."
"You were the one who opened my eyes. If I don't change for you, who do I change for?"
"Yourself..." I cup his cheek, wiping the rain drops from his skin, "You've been anxious about death recently... And the truth is, it'll eventually happen, but what if I die before you? Once I leave you might revert back to your old self, but that would be destructive to you."
"Luna... I don't know how to change for myself. I can do anything I want, but this is difficult... The only way I can change, if it's for you."
"If you need to use me as a reason to improve, I'll accept it... I just hope you'll learn that you need to live for yourself not for me..."
Cabel leans against my hand, closing his eyes as he ruminates on my words.
"Our child could be afraid of you... But that's far away from now. It could be in a few years until we have our first child, but by then we'll be different people than who we are now. They'll know you for who you are then, and they'll see that you worked hard to grow from your mistakes to be better..."
"And if that's not enough?"
"Then the best we can do together is love and support them, even if they're afraid of you..."
"You'll stay by my side, even if our child is afraid of me?"
"Yes... If they're afraid of you and want to keep their distance, that doesn't mean I have to. I'll always support you through anything."
Cabel nods, kissing my forehead. His anxiousness slowly residing from his expression, yet still lingering.
"If you're anxious still, why not try to get along with Esmerelda? I'm sure she'll realize you're not the monster she claims, and if she grows to like you, it'll show you that you're not the monster you think you are either." I flash him a small smile.
"There's no point in growing close with her. If anything, shouldn't you grow close to her before me?" He smirks, kissing my hand.
"Then why don't we get to know her together? She's my sister, but she's still a stranger to me." I smile.
"Okay... That sounds nice." Cabel smiles back sweetly, nodding.
He kisses me lightly, with a soft sweet peck. His eyes look back into mine as he pulls away.
Hesitantly, he presses his lips against mine for a longer deeper kiss as he pulls me closer.
His lips trail down my neck, sucking on my skin as it sends a shiver down my spine. His lips meet mine again for a gentle, passionate kiss.
Suddenly, he pulls away quickly, his face flushed.
He covers his mouth with his hand, looking away in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, we should stop here." He mutters.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
"You're still healing and weak, I can't take advantage of you in this state."
"I see, thank you..." I giggle, moving his hand away from his face.
I plant a gentle kiss on his lips, holding onto his arms.
"If you wanted to continue, I wouldn't mind..." I whisper, smiling.
"You're breaking every resolve I have by speaking like that... But I can wait until your strength returns, I don't want your body to break." Cabel smiles, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"Okay." I smile, feeling my cheeks grow warm.
Our lips touch again for a gentle light kiss before Cabel leans back, holding me close to him as we listen to the rain.