Two updates in one day? What???
This request came from the amazing lovelyhollandd! They suggested a classic role reversal with a little angst sprinkled in, and of course I had to comply. This shouldn't be a long mini-series (this is me trying to focus on the word mini ) This is almost an intro chapter of sorts? So things make sense in the future. I hope everyone enjoys!
You used to be afraid of heights. But that was before you could catch yourself if you fell.
Never in a million years did you ever think you would be in the place you are now. That your life could change as drastically as it did from something as small and trivial as a spider bite. If you hadn't gone on that school trip — Hell, if you were even standing just another foot to the right, someone else could be in your shoes. Or worse; they could have abused the powers that have become your new normal and used them for all the wrong reasons.
It was crazy, really. You never knew something like this could happen. From all of your calculations, you shouldn't even be alive from the amount of radioactivity in that spiders venom, but then again, here you were. Living and breathing perched on a discarded billboard sign in the middle of The Bronx.
You smiled under your mask, taking a deep breath and still getting used to the freedom and new features this new suit gave you. When you first decided to use your newfound abilities to help the people who needed it, (after over a week of slipping supplies from Chemistry and Shop class) you were swinging around New York in a hastily hand sewn suit to mask your identity. The spider symbol you had drawn on your chest quickly adopted the moniker the public liked to call you: the Spider-Woman.
Not the best, you would agree, but catchy. Subtle, and to the point. It was definitely better than the first name you'd initially thought of; 'The Human Spider'.
But after only six months of becoming NYC's newest vigilante, you had gotten an incredible upgrade from none other than Tony Stark himself. Not only did he make you an amazing suit, but you got to meet — well, er, fight with and against the Avengers. To say the least (even if you did get punched in the face and thrown around a couple of times) it was the best day of your life.
You loved being a hero, but it had it's downfalls. You had learned a couple of lessons after taking down Vulture, who turned out to be your best friend Peter's crushes dad. The first was that you definitely weren't ready to be an Avenger. The second being that keeping your identity a secret was the hardest thing you ever have to do. Counting almost getting killed by a man only trying to help his family. You grimaced at the thought. It had taken almost a week for the bruises on your chest to heal from his suits talons.
But your entire chase after Vulture? Washington? You came so close to spilling to Peter.
Peter Parker. Your amazing boy— friend. Your amazing best friend. The boy who stuck by your side since the two of you met building blocks during playtime in kindergarten. The boy with the untamed curly brown hair and glasses brimmed chocolate eyes to match who also had a knack for being more perceptive than he lets on and is constantly questioning your wellbeing and is only one big brain moment away from figuring you and all of your secrets out.
The first time was when you had nearly missed catching him in the Washington Monument. Your friend Cindy had been carrying what at the time neither of you knew was a Chitauri energy core — or in other words, a bomb. It burned through her backpack and put everyone on the Decathlon team in danger. Peter, acting on the hero complex that no sane 15 year old should have, made sure everyone else got out first before him. You remember vividly Karen in your ear telling you your heart rate from your fear of dropping him as your hand caught his tightly and didn't let go until he was safe. The A.I. in your suit urged you to tell him who you were, but before you could even think about it you had fallen yourself and needed to focus on catching yourself first.
The second time was after Liz moved away to Oregon. You felt guilty, knowing that it was partially your fault. You had put her father in prison, forcing her family out of their home in Forest Hills. You felt even worse when you watched from the corner as Peter said his goodbye. You knew it must have been really bittersweet, even if Peter didn't actually tell you, just waving off your concern. Him and Liz really only got to spend that one night at Homecoming together. But according to Cindy, Peter spent a lot of that time sending texts to her asking where you were and if you were okay since you left and weren't answering your phone. So he wasn't even having as much fun as he could have.
You had just wanted to apologize to Peter for everything. For Liz, for disappearing on him for what wasn't the first time and definitely not the last. To explain everything.
Because keeping a secret from Peter was like throwing away the very last piece of a thousand piece puzzle you had constructed and watching the garbage truck take it away. The longer you waited to finish the puzzle — the longer you waited to tell Peter — the more it hurt. And you knew the longer you waited, the more it would hurt him.
You lithely hopped down onto the rooftop below you, your elation quickly dying down as you recalled your memories and feelings.
"Hey Kar?" You asked, fidgeting with the fabric of your suit. "What are the chances Peter wouldn't react if I tell him I'm Spider-Woman?"
"The chance of Peter not reacting at all would be 5%." She replied.
You groaned. "That's — that's not what I meant. I mean, like, not freaking out." You amended. "Or getting mad." A quick addition.
"That would raise probability to 25.3%."
"That's...great. Just great." You sighed, shooting a quick zip web to the next building over.
"'Great' isn't the word I would use. This hypothetical situation in which you would reveal your alter ego to Peter and he wouldn't act like that is very unlikely."
And that was a reminder to see if you could add sarcasm detectors to Karen's operating systems.
You just closed your eyes again. This time with the purpose to try and shake the feeling of culpability away.
At this point, you weren't really sure the exact reason why you were hiding your identity from Peter. You knew you were from your family because they would immediately freak out and stop you from potentially getting hurt or risking your life.
Cindy only knew because she had been waiting in your apartment for you after she got back from a secret date with her boyfriend that her parents didn't like her having. You allowed her to use spending her time with you as an excuse and the two of you had made the plan for you to meet her there after, but it had honestly slipped your mind as you crawled in through your bedroom window as to not alert your family that you were gone in the first place (they had been thinking you were studying for a test and promised not to bother you).
It wasn't until you had sat down in your desk chair and took off your mask, pulling out a small screwdriver to fix your webshooter that was having problems with getting clogged that you realized that Cindy was staring wide eyed straight at you from your bed. It was a mistake, really, but with her eidetic memory it was a memory she wasn't ever going to forget.
You told yourself then that you were keeping your identity secret to keep your friends and family safe. It was simple enough. All superheroes you read about (Avengers excluded) did it for those exact reasons. There was no way you wanted to put anyone in danger because of you.
But as time passed, you realized it was just because you were scared. Scared Peter would be so hurt, that it had reached the point where the truth would severely damage your friendship.
But you also knew Peter. He's stuck by your side through thick and thin for years, always supporting you and giving you the courage to do things you've always wanted to do. He wasn't a superhero, but he could've been with the role models of an aunt and uncle he has (both respective heroes in their own right), and he definitely was to you — in your own definition.
Your first thought wasn't ever that Peter would judge you or get mad for you having powers. In fact, you believed some part deep inside him already knew, just waiting for the wheels in his brain to turn and put the pieces together. You spent a lot of nights loosing sleep thinking about the what if you had told Peter from the beginning. He would have been excited. Right next to you the entire time: web fluid testing, suit design; all of it.
But now, Vulture was two months ago. You've had your powers almost an entire year. You were New York City's very own personal neighborhood hero. Everyone knew you. Some in a negative light, but most in a positive one.
You loved it. You wouldn't give up being a hero for anything. Not when it meant you were doing good in the world. Protecting the people that couldn't protect themselves. Helping the people who couldn't get the help they needed.
The sun was high in the sky, a heat combating with the chilly November wind, trying to fight off the cold of the oncoming winter the best it could, but you knew more than most that it was on its last legs. You were the one roaming the city in a skintight spandex supersuit and only remembered about the installed heater 12% of the time, according to Karen.
The afternoon was just starting, which meant that you still had plenty of patrol time left.
Like you always did — digging yourself into a deeper hole — you pushed away the thought of telling Peter into the furthest corners of your head. Leaving it to fester and ready up for its next swing, which, going off of the last couple times it crossed your mind, would hit double as hard as it just did now.
You told yourself that keeping Spider-Woman a secret from Peter would protect him. Not only from your enemies.
If only you could believe your own lie.